


The Real You

by kenipads



Category: H2OVanoss - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Heartbreak, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-10-21 23:10:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 28,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10684836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kenipads/pseuds/kenipads
Summary: A story about H2ODeliriousxmale reader.The male reader will be of course,Evan.An orphan boy who had a life of unfortunate events.Working two jobs to support himself and pay for the crappy apartment he lives in.A small town boy with small dreams,for a decent job,enough money for his illness and more importantly,a family.At a local gaming convention,one of his dying wishes comes true.Where he gets to meet his favorite Youtubers with an extra surprise.A man that will dramatically change his life.And just a heads up,H2ODelirious is described as a total jerk,player and heartless.





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> Dedication to @YandereGeek and @Cit. I hope you'll like it. :)

*Always be true to who you are,never let anyone or anything change that.*

 

Growing up in the orphanage wasn't that bad for Evan.The people there were a better family than his own.All his happy and bad memories were made in that place,but mostly happy ones.No one was there to judge.No racism or sexism,just a perfect little world to live in.

The only downside of it,was how the adults see and refer to everyone there as an abandoned and neglected kid.They would give them those pitiful and sympathetic looks,feeling sorry for their misfortune.They would ask about their background stories before they choose who's suitable for them.Like one of those talent competitions,where they let everyone with the most tragic and dreadful story pass.And once they leave the orphanage,they would breath a sigh relieved that they weren't them.Happy that they were destined to be loved from the beginning.That they didn't lost their parents at a young age,with no family around to take them in.

That what they were in their eyes.All of them were poor and unlucky kids,which the society have an obligation to help with their tax money,secondhand clothes,and all the cheap inedible food.

Evan could still remember his birth parents and how they looked like.Haunted by his mother's crying face as she left him near the local police station.Her tears meant nothing to him,since she left her own flesh and blood outside in the cold weather.A two year old who was baffled by the whole situation,not understanding why she was crying,nor why she left running.

He remembered how his first night at the station was like.Officers giving him sad looks as he used the chief's couch as a bed.Even though he was still young back then,he remembered every details of that day.The shock state he was in waiting for his mother to come back.Asking the chief from time to time when she'd be back.He remembered the tears he shed that night and every other night,until there was no more.The word family lost its meaning starting that night.

Then he met them,the group of crazy kids he spent his childhood with.They burst through his bubble and made him care for them.They showed him the love he never experienced,changing his meaning of the word family.But like everyone else,they all left after some time.Some got adopted and moved on with their life,some just left because they were too old for the system to support them.

Evan wanted to be as lucky as them and get adopted as well.He always wondered why no one asked to take him home.What was wrong with him that his birth parents abandoned him and strangers didn't spare a look at him.

Growing up,he found out the reason why.Evan was diagnosed with a chronic condition that affects his body and how he metabolized sugar.In other words,he had diabetes type two.Meaning,he'd need four shots of insulin per day.And not any type of insulin,it had to be a rapid-acting one that costs more than five hundred bucks.

No wonder they left him.

Still,fate saw that he wasn't messed up enough that he was thrown out of the orphanage at the age of sixteen.What the government wouldn't tell you,was when there was a cut down in costs for a terrible economy,they'd start with the undesirable first.

Welcome to the adult life.A mockery if you were an orphan,where everyone would judge you for having no background.Looking uninterested as they went through their routine questions of why you should be hired.They'd always would corner you with that question that you didn't have an answer to.

Talk about yourself.

Evan would always find himself short of words when it comes to that question.Normally you would start with your name,and he had one that was made up by their caregiver,the headmaster.A first name that was given to him since he slurred it out when he was asked,and a generated last name that the system thought was more suitable for him.

Evan Fong wasn't his name but he was forced to roll with it.

He had to fend for himself as such young age.Dropping out of school because he no longer could afford to go to one.He had to live on what the government called children or orphan support.A child welfare enough for a meal per day and rent in a sketchy area.He was still grateful for it,and more grateful to have good connections he made around the block.

The welfare got cut off once he stopped going to school,but thankfully he had some people who provided a great support.

He moved in with his best friend Gabriella,an eighteen years old girl that was with him in that orphanage.They shared a small apartment an hour away from where he found a job.Evan didn't mind walking or taking the bus when he was tired.At least he had a job that he could live from and buy himself the needed drug.

A year now that he started the adult life,he was amazed how he quickly got the hang of it.He'd found a second job that offered a good wage and an opportunity to educate himself.Beside waiting tables with Gabi at a famous local restaurant,he now had a part-time job at a local library.His insight about life had also changed.He felt like for once fate was by his side.He was surrounded by good and loving people,a boss who didn't mind to tutor him and help him graduate.A best friend who always found a way to cheer him up.

He felt blessed and figured that he was given a break.That was before he met him.The man that took away everything for him and destroyed him.


	2. Chapter Two

*The surprise.*

 

Evan dropped his bag on the floor,opening his locker to change to his work uniform.He arrived late to work today,because he had to help the old man at the library with stocking some new arrival books.He was glad that the manager didn't notice or he could've got himself fired.

Gabi opened the door and glared at him,not caring that he was just in his boxers.They did grow up together and got used to seeing each other indecent,but he didn't want people to talk badly about her.

"You're late."She remarked.

"I know."

He put on his pants,quickly buckling up.She handed him his shirt,fixing his hair while he put it on.She was always acting like a big sister toward him,which he much appreciated.She cared and he could tell,and that was why he loved her as one.

She huffed,glaring down at her shoes which alerted him that something troubled her mind.He thought she'd be ecstatic that today they'd get to meet their idols.A group of Youtubers that pulled him out of his depression.They never could afford to travel to those major conventions,and Evan got excited when he heard that one was held in town,and thrilled when the whole group confirmed that they'd attend.Well,all except for Delirious whose know for being a mystery.

"What's wrong,Gabi?"

He was making a horrible job in fixing his tie,so she as always,came to his rescue.

"It's Tammy and Lyn.They asked Mr Gibbs for today as an off day to go to the convention."

His frown turned to a grim expression knowing that their boss wouldn't allow them to leave early.Those two had to beat them to it,and now they'd be stuck serving customers.

Gabi was pouting as she leaned on one of the lockers,and he offered her a gentle smile.

"You can go and I'll cover for you.Besides,there is always tomorrow for me to go see them."

She shook her head and sighed.

"You'll die without me if I leave."Which was true,that it made them both chuckle."I guess we could try our luck tomorrow,and hope they'll hold another fan meetup."

I hope so.

"Alright then,"She chirped as her positive spirit made it back.Nothing could defeat Gabi and Evan admired her strength.She had a messed up life as everyone in that orphanage,but she always defeated her demons with a cheerful smile that never left her lips."Let's go before captain spit-a-lot comes and showers us with his saliva."

"Not to forget killing us slowly with his horrible breaths."He noted.

"Don't remind me."She grimaced then her expression turned sour as she remembered something.She suddenly looked nervous,biting her lips.And there was nothing more troubling for Evan than Gabi looking nervous.

"What is it now?"

She looked up from the floor to meet his eyes,seemingly hesitant to speak.

"Scott contacted me today and said that they're back...They asked about you and where they could find you,and of course the headmaster didn't tell them."

He groaned at the mention of them.A couple who were always contacting the orphanage asking to see him.It was weird that anyone would want to adopt a seventeen year old and show so much interest in him while they never met him.

"I think you should meet them...I mean,I have a hunch that it must be important for them to be this persistent."

Evan made a face in discomfort and shrugged.

"I don't see a reason for them to be so keen to adopt a diabetic boy.Besides,I'm so happy where I currently am...I have you."

He poked her puffed cheek and she grinned in a goofy way.

"That you do.You're hopeless and would die without me."

"Or because of you."He teased earning a playful glare and a harsh punch on his shoulder that made him yelp.

She was a strong woman that no one should mess with.

"I can't believe I'm a friend with an idiot like you."She grumbled and he giggled,following his crazy friend to where the hungry customers waited.

It was a busy day.Being short of staff and close to the convention center,they didn't get a moment to catch a breather.Nothing was more irritating and tiring than hungry customers.And not to forget,a manager with bad breath that'd get on your nerves with some of the unnecessary comments.

Evan was in the break room getting his regular shot,as Gabi walked in panicking and squealing some incoherent words.

"What's wrong?"He asked with a chuckle,slightly concerned by what got her flustered.

"They're here!"She shrieked aloud,then lowered her voice when he asked her to."The guys are here,Evan."She whisper yelled.

Confused,he frowned."Who?"

"BBS,Evan."She started jumping up and down happily like a five year old."They're here in the restaurant!"

His eyes widened,smiling triumphantly.He didn't know how he packed his medicine that fast and trotted out of the staff room to check.There they were,settling down in the corner where the long table could accommodate their large group.

The first person that caught his eyes was Wildcat.He was laughing about something one of the guys did.His laugh was so nostalgic that brought back the warmth of being at home.The place where he grew up with his friends.The word pancake was never the same since they started watching this wild dude and his group of lunatic friends.

Gabi didn't waste time and went there to welcome them.Evan stood in the corner watching her chat with MiniLadd who laughed aloud with the group about something she said.Marcel was leaning back on Lui,they both looked tired.Nogla going through the menu pointing something to some guy Evan didn't recognize.Luke was there too,laughing at Wildcat and MiniLadd's bickering.Brock had a lazy smile watching them,looking calm as Evan did expect him to be.There was a couple of people that he didn't recognize,and he secretly envied them for knowing the guys.

A smile tug on his face when he saw Gabi take a picture with Mini.He knew that she'd be squealing if she wasn't infront of him right now.She adored the guy,and had practically worked her ass off to save some money for his merch.Wildcat pouted and she giggled glancing back at him before looking back at them.Then the rest of the guys looked his way,making him look down with a clear blush.

It was fine for him to watch them from afar.He didn't want to disturb their alone time.He knew that they must have been suffocated the whole day by fans,and this was their time to relax from that stressful and have some alone time together.

Gabi gestured for him to come over and he hesitantly complied.He could feel himself pale,hands clammy and his throat felt so dry.He licked his lips,allowing a genuine smile to spread across his face.

"He's a huge fan of yours as well."

Gabi presented him to the group,making him blush harder.He wasn't ready to meet them as he thought.He always imagined himself acting cool about it,sharing few words with the guys and taking their autographs.Now,he had sweat forming on his forehead,flustered like a girl infront of her crush.Nauseous and overwhelmed by the situation,fearing that he'd throw up any moment now.

"Oh,yeah?"Wildcat went on with an upbeat tone."What's your name?"

"E-Evan?"He stuttered a bit in question making them all burst into a fit of laughter.Lui did mimic him before muttering in a teasing tone.

"Evan? You're not quite sure if that's your name?"He giggled and the rest joined.

Evan knew that they were just being themselves,but his words hit home for him and Gabi noticed.Even when he forced a smile as an answer,she did gave him a light squeeze to his shoulder as a sort of comfort.

"Okay,Evan.Who's your favorite?"

"Of course it's going to be me?"Mini jumped in,earning a playful punch from Wildcat."What? You're just jealous that I have more fans than you."

Tyler ignored him looking back at Evan who felt like a deer caught in headlights.His heart was still drumming in disbelief,slightly upset for sounding in doubt and like a fool when he presented himself.

"I-I don't have favorites."He stammered,clearing his throat to compose himself."I watch all of your videos and like all of your works."

"You do like Delirious more."Gabi remarked,then giggled when he glared at her.

"You do?"Asked Luke,resting his hands on the table.Nogla did nudge the guy beside him who was eyeing him weirdly.

Evan nodded with a smile at the mention of that particular youtuber.He had his own reasons to favorite that one in particular.He had a huge part in saving him from depression.

"Why don't you take their orders,I'll be right back?"

Gabi waved to the guys,going toward some couple of people who just walked in.He knew that she wanted him to have the moment he dreamed about for so long.This was her section of tables and she should be the one serving them.

He clicked his pen,noting down their orders.He shared a smile with Luke who couldn't yet decide,then looked at the man beside Nogla.He was still staring,his eyes traveling up and down his body.Dark black hair and wide beautiful eyes.He had that kinda of face that'd stop you in track.A nonchalant expression,bad boy attitude and a sly smile.A smile that held something mysterious behind it,yet comforting in a way.Evan couldn't take his eyes off those blazing blue pair as well.The way they shimmered when he smirked made him spontaneously smile back.

"What do you suggest?"

His voice was deep,raspy,and somehow familiar.It made the insides of Evan's tingle with a soothing warmth.He forced himself to look at the menu infront of Luke and point out few dishes that the restaurant was famous with.From time to time he'd glance up at that handsome man,only to get his breath taken away when he'd find him still staring with that mysterious look.

"The grilled rib-eye steak sounds yummy."He moaned and flinched,glaring at Luke while he scratched his leg.

"Yeah,"Luke handed him the menu,looking a bit annoyed."I'll have the same with some steamed vegetables instead of fries."

Evan nodded,a bit confused about the change in atmosphere.He just brush it off,walking back the kitchen to get their orders.

 

He Watched Gabi talking to the guys while she was taking their orders for desert.She giggled walking his way,a cheerful grin graced her full lips.

"They said they'll leave when the rain quiet down a bit.Why don't you go sit with them?"

He looked at her like she was mad or something,and frowned.

"I can't just go there and disturb them.It'll be awkward and shit."

She waved at Mini who was asking them to join and leaned down as she whispered.

"They actually told me to ask you.More like,that guy next to Nogla insisted on you joining them."

He glanced at the guy,who was again staring at him with those captivating eyes.He fought the blush that was creeping to his cheeks,and narrowed his eyes at his friend.

"What did you tell them?"

"Nothing,"She said with a shrug."I just told them that we were meant to see them at the fan meetup,and that we got stuck working our asses off...Just go and have fun with them while luck is still by our side.The moment it stops raining they'll leave."

He bit his lip looking at the opportunity he had infront of him right now.He'd never get a chance like this.

"The manager is in his office sucking dicks for all I know.Why don't you go and get that cutie's number?He's thirsty for you."

Evan's eyes widened and blushed a bit.He turned to glare at her but had to smile at the smug face she was pulling.

"What? You know I'm right.He's been eye-raping you since he first saw you.Just go already."

She pushed him their way,and he smiled when Mini waved him to come.

"Hey,Evan."Said that sexy guy as he stood up."Let me grab you a chair."

Evan didn't have time to protest as the latter grabbed a chair from the nearby table and placed it next to Luke.He exchanged a few secretive words with the scowling man,and Luke grumbled before moving to the other seat,so now they were sitting next to each other.

"I'm Nathan."

He offered his hand with a cheeky smile.His dimples deepened making Evan blush deeply at how hot he was.

He placed his small hand in that big one,and shivered at the slight of cold chill he felt down his spine.

"Nice to meet you,Nathan."

"You too."The latter purred,then smirked when Evan choked on his spit.

Luke snorted and glared at them.That expression wasn't missed by Evan who bowed his head in shame.He knew that they wouldn't be okay with him invading their privacy.Luke must be pissed that he was there.

"So,"Mini started,like he felt his discomfort and self-loathing."You said that you like Delirious."

He got cut off by Nogla who let out a goofy laughter looking at them.

Evan blushed even more,if that even possible,and looked down at his lap.

"Hey,"He felt a warm breath on his cheek that wasn't helping with his flushed face."Don't mind Nogla,he's just being....himself."

Evan looked up with a smile,nodding at Nathan who looked a bit worried.

"What do you like about him?"

Luke was the one to ask.A hard look plastered on his face that made him look like a total jerk.Evan knew that he wasn't interested and that probably he wanted him to feel hated so that he'd leave them be.

"Yes,what do you like about Delirious?"

Nathan leaned back on his chair,still wearing that sexy smirk.His eyes glowing and smiling at him encouragingly.

"Delirious,"Evan mumbled to himself then gave out a faint chuckle."I remember when I first learned about you guys,and it was all because of him.I was watching a video of Seananners or Ohm,I can't quite remember which,then I heard this addictive laughter that annoyed me back then.I couldn't hear my favorite Youtubers because the guy was laughing so hard all the time."

The guys were all looking at him with a small smile as he spoke.Nathan had a weird fond look on him,that made him glance away toward Wildcat and the rest.

"Then I went to his channel,and I remember watching a GTA-V video that had a warning caption about you guys laughing a lot...I found myself hooked on his videos,watching them back to back.I subscribed to all of you guys afterwards."

"Man,Delirious gets all the fans."

Wildcat whined playfully.

"I like all of you."Evan mumbled cutely,making Mini awe at that.

"Thanks,dude."

He smiled,cheeks still heated up for having a conversation with them.Them,the guys he'd been watching and idolizing on Gabi's smartphone.He couldn't believe that they were now here,talking to him like if he was one of their group.

"But what do you like about him?"Nathan asked again and glared at Luke when he snorted."I mean,they all have something special about them,and there must be a reason for you to like Delirious more."

"It the laugh,man."Nogla and one of the guys Evan didn't recognize chorused."It's always the laugh."

Evan nodded still smiling.

"It's not only the laugh...It's his light and positive spirit as well.How he'd laugh at everything,no matter how frustrating and disappointing it was...How he cared about all his friends,new and old ones,and secretly helped them grow and find their own way.His dedication to what he loves,and you could tell that he tries so hard...You all do,actually."He looked around at the appreciative faces.They were all smiling,all except for Luke who had a frown.Evan didn't know what he did to make him hate him at first sight.He did ignore him though,not letting his attitude disturb his happy moment.

"His laugh brings a smile to my face even when I'm down.I think that's the deal with everybody in his fanbase."

"That's true."Brock nodded with a knowing grin,then added."He's the highlight of every video we make with him."

They all agreed.

Evan enjoyed his time with them,talking about games he watched them play but never got to experience.He loved how their friendship was as strong as it looked online.They were like a family to each other that he wished he had.

When they left,Evan frowned a bit disappointed and he didn't know why.He felt like he missed some opportunity somehow.Then his frown morphed into a smile when the door opened again and Nathan walked in.

He strode his way,one hand in his jeans pocket looking as nervous as Evan was.

"Listen,I wanted to ask you if you want to join me tomorrow at the convention.That if you're free...The guys will be busy and I'd be alone."

He slightly pouted making Evan laugh adorably.

"It can be arranged."Gabi shouted from behind the counter,giggling when Evan glared at her.

Nathan laughed a strained laughter that made him look weird,then covered it with that sexy smirk.He pulled out his phone and hand it to him.

"Can I get your number?"He asked,his eyes compelling him to comply.They weren't hiding the hunger in them,which had Evan sweating as heat spread through his body."It'll be easier this way for us to meet."

He nodded when he felt himself unable to form words.With a trembling hand he took his phone and typed in his number,Nathan looking amazed by his nervousness.

"See you tomorrow...Evan."He winked.

 

Jonathan walked out with a winning grin,that soon turned bitter when he met Luke's glare.

"I told you to leave the guy alone."

"Yes,Jon.The boy is so young and too innocent."Brock added with a firm tone.

"Innit?"He licked his lips at the ways he could defile that innocence."That makes him the perfect guy."

The guys all knew about his sexuality and didn't much care.They were all open minded about it,they just expressed their disapproval about the way he lived his life.Big part of the reason why he refused to show his face,was the way he lived his life.He had a list of disgruntled ex-lovers that he used them then tossed them away.To his defense,he did told them not to get attach.They were the one who acted like fools for coming to a convention and hooking up with a stranger expecting more than that.So,if he revealed his face,the truth about him will come out.

Luke stopped him by grabbing his arm harshly.

"Leave the poor kid alone.You could get in trouble for it,Jo."He gave him that brotherly look that made him groan and roll his eyes.

"Fine."He huffed with a clear pout."I wasn't planning on hooking up with him anyway.I just felt bad that he never played video games and wanted to show him a good time."

Luke kept his glare,assessing him like the human lying detector he was.

"Alright.I'll leave him alone,I promise."

He looked down hiding his sly smile.There was no way that he'd pass such opportunity.A virgin,shy and gullible boy.The perfect combination for a quick one without spending much more than a night at a hotel.


	3. Chapter Three

*The date.*

 

"What do you think?"

Evan twirled around giving Gabi a good look at what he was wearing.He had tons of stuff,all from goodwill and charity clothes,that he'd get whenever he visited the orphanage.He never thought so much about clothes or looking fashionable,but this was a special day.He was going out with Nathan...in a man date...to keep him company?

"You're going on a date not to a funeral."

"A man date."He corrected and huffed irritated for trying too many outfits,and none of them seemed to please his friend.

She looked like she gave up as well,as she stood up and rampaged through his small and once tidy closet.

"Why don't you try this one."

She handed him a black shirt with a golden owl dreamcatcher.He studied the shirt that didn't look so bad and took off the white buttoned up shirt he had on.

"And please take off those grandpa pants and try these on."

He glared at the skinny jeans that he refused to wear so many time,even when she insisted.The one he had on looked okay for him.Khaki pants that were slightly bigger than him,but they looked new and comfortable.

"I can't wear these."

He whined and she snapped her head back like he had just offended her new hair color,which looked ridiculously pink,but he didn't dare to comment on that when she asked.

"And why is that?"

He shook the small med-pack he always carried whenever he went outside.

"I will have to fight with these jeans to take them off and get my regular shot."

She rolled her eyes,not believing his lame excuse to get out of this.

"You'll only be in need of an injection twice while you're out,so suck it up."

He pouted a little,looking at the black jeans like they hurt his feelings.He wondered why he never got rid of them.

"Fine,but you'll help me put them on."

She snorted at that,going through her bag of accessories and selecting some wrist bands for him to wear.

"You're so skinny that these will look like baggy pants on you."

And she was right,sort of.They did look big but in a comfortable way.They actually fit perfectly,not suffocating or squeezing his thighs and ass in the thick fabric.

After fixing his hair in a faux-hawk hairstyle,with her help of course,he looked at the time on his phone and slipped on his red sneakers hastily.

"We need to go."He rushed his friend who was looking at herself in the mirror.

"Fine,lover boy.Your man can afford to wait a little bit for a beauty like you."

"He's not my man...please stop saying that."He mumbled blushing making her laugh.

"Lets just go."

Gabi left him alone,saying that she'd go look for the guys.Not before giving him the golden advise of no kissing on the first date,leaving him in a flustering mess.

He felt bad since they planned on hanging out together before Nathan showed up.And now,he was like ditching her for a guy.A stranger that he knew nothing about,but his warm eyes and dazzling smile.

He checked the text he got from him yesterday,telling him where they'd meet up.Finding it weird how his number was masked but he didn't put so much thoughts into it.It could be a network thing or something,but whatever it was,Evan didn't care.He'd get to spend a day with a guy he liked,which it never happened before.

He was nervous about what they'd talk about.Gabi told him not to worry,and that the man looked like he'd do the talking for both of them,but he was still concerned.He didn't want him to think that he was boring and chase him away.

He arrived to the R6 Siege event,that he heard were testing a new update for.The tickets for the game were quite expensive for Evan,not like he knew how to play anyway.

Nathan had his back to him,occupying a station,and playing with and against some guys.Evan stood there willing the blush to go away at how hot he looked.The pair of blue jeans he had on hugged his ass so perfectly,making it hard for him to not stare at it like a creep.His grey shirt was a bit wrinkled up,making the pair of white Calvin Klein briefs peek through.His slim military green designer jacket draped over the high chair he wasn't using.

Evan stepped beside the oblivious man,and watched how focused he looked.His blue eyes piercing through the screen watching his surroundings.He'd bit his lip whenever he saw and shot someone.He was actually impressive,doing pretty good in the familiar game.

Evan forgot about him,eyes widening at how cool the game looked.The graphics were much better than in the videos.He watched how Nathan skillfully clutched through when all his teammates died.How he pulled through in the end winning the match.

"Yes!"He cheered victoriously and was congratulated by the guys playing beside him.He picked up his jacket and turned around to see him staring.

"Why didn't you tell me that you were here?"

Evan still watched in full excitement as another boy,went through the operators and choosing a favorite.He envied the little boy for being skilled at using the controller.He watched his fingers carefully,trying to learn a bit how it did work.

He turned his attention back to the hunk of a man beside him,when the latter dropped his arm over his shoulders pulling him closer to his chest.

Hot,was what Evan could think of.Nathan was hot both on the outside and the inside.His body heat was so comforting,that made him lean a bit to the embrace.

Was it really weird that he felt this way about this stranger?How he let go of every ounce of doubt in him and trusted the guy?

"Y-You did really good...You played this game before?"

He muttered when he noticed that he didn't reply for a while now,and was pretty much burying his face in his chest and taking in his scent.

Nathan nodded with a smile.

"I did,but never used that operator before.It's a new one that came with the update,and has some of the cool features and weapons...You want to try?"

Evan shook his head,still blushing when he got caught by those bright eyes,raking his body up and down.He felt safe in his arms and hoped that Nathan wouldn't move his arm away,but he did.

He covered his embarrassment with an awkward laugh,feeling bad for making the man uncomfortable.

"I never played before,I'd suck for sure...I don't mind watching though."

He offered a smile and Nathan still looked uneasy as he smiled back.

They played different games around.Evan was terrible at all of them,but he had fun making a fool of himself.He got Nathan to show him around,and direct him how to play and where to hide,when he was playing a scary game demo.They both shared laughs and screams,annoying some of the gamers but he didn't care.

For the first time,Evan was comfortable around someone other than his childhood friends.Him and Nathan had a lot in common when it came to games.Evan was influenced by Delirious and the games he chose to play,so it was kinda natural that him and Nathan liked the same things.At least he found an interesting subject to talk about.He loved how those bright eyes would glimmer as he spoke enthusiastically about gaming.He seemed so much into it and it made Evan wonder why he didn't start a Youtube channel for himself.

He felt giddy when Nathan finally rested his arm around him,pulling him out of the convention center.

"I'm famished,wanna grab a bite?"

Evan nodded,feeling his thin and hungry wallet in concern.He didn't want to look poor infront of the guy,but he couldn't afford to waste money on unnecessary things.Like he felt his uneasiness,Nathan took him to a small diner near the place.It looked cozy with a delicious menu of food,and most importantly affordable.

They settled by the window in the classic red booth.Nathan chose to sit beside him instead of across from him,making his cheeks burn even more.He even disregarded his menu looking at the one Evan held in his hand.

He was being way too obvious and Evan didn't know how he should react.

After the waitress took their order,Nathan leaned on the table,resting his head on his elbow,looking his way.A sexy smirk played on those taunting lips.

"So,tell me about yourself Evan."

He dragged his name with a sly grin,making him squirm in his seat.His face,neck and ears were burning with heat,as he gazed at the sex god of a man who looked beyond amused.

"T-There is nothing much to know about me,really."He spoke the truth,avoiding to go on about his past."My best friend is Gabi,the girl she was with me yesterday...Umm,I like reading books and watching youtube videos."

He giggled so musically,that Evan had to avoid looking at his lips and fixed his eyes on the half full glass of water.He was so infatuated with those eyes glowing blueish green eyes,and those pink kissable lips.He did wonder how they'd feel against his own,and was hard for him not to stare at them suspiciously longer than he should.

"Oh,yeah.You like watching Delirious' videos."

He sounded awfully proud about that,but Evan didn't think too much into it.He just nodded with a wide smile.

"Him and the others."

Nathan hummed,pushing away from the table when the waitress brought their food.Evan had settled with a salad,claiming that he wasn't that hungry,while Nathan ordered a full course meal.

"You know,your name is derived from its welsh form for John."

"Really?!"

Nathan nodded,taking a sip of his water.

"If I didn't know better,I'd call it fate."

Evan frowned and stopped messing with the overly dressed lettuce salad,looking back at him.

"What do you mean?"

Nathan stopped eating,swallowing thickly that he almost choked on his food.

"I meant,that your name and mine are both derived from Johnathan."

Evan nodded,and stopped himself from correcting the man.Nathan and Johnathan weren't related in any way.They were both derived from the Hebrew language,but John meant gracious while Nathan meant to give,or given.

Nathan cleared his throat,watching him carefully with those hypnotizing eyes.Evan sighed dreamily watching the man resume eating his food.Oh,how much he envied that piece of meat for having access to that mouth.He licked his lips when Nathan did the same,preventing the sauce from dripping out to his chin.

"How about you?"He breathed,feeling a bit light-headed but he didn't care.He noticed how Nathan visibly shivered,taking a huge gulp of his drink."Tell me about yourself."

Evan was leaning on the table for support,feeling the sweat breaking out on his forehead,back and chest.His breathing was slightly uneven,and he lips were dry,but he was so mesmerized by the sexy man to care.

"Me?"Nathan chuckled awkwardly,collecting himself as he pushed his plate away."Well,you know my name,and that I'm a friend of the guys..."He paused,his eyes brightening with something Evan wasn't in his right mind to decipher.Nathan resumed again but with more confidence than before.

"I'm friends with Luke and Delirious...We've been friends since diaper days."

"Really!"Evan exclaimed forgetting about his giddiness.He did drink some water,hoping it would help with the cold fever he was experiencing.He cutely frowned when he processed what Nathan said.

"But weren't they friends since fourth or fifth grade,or something?"

He slurred in question,Nathan didn't seem to notice that he was a bit off,and was more contemplating about his question.

"I meant me and Delirious."

Evan gave a curt nod and his date smiled.

"Do you want me to tell you how he looks like?"

The offer did sound tempting but Evan shook his head,refusing.

"I like him to stay mysterious as he is,this way I could put a million faces to his voice,while watching his videos."

Nathan laughed and nudged him with his shoulder.

"That didn't sound creepy at all."

Evan gave out a dorky laugh and rested his back on the leather seat.

"It came out wrong...I can't seem to think straight."

Nathan snorted something but Evan couldn't hear.He just stared at the man finishing his drink,before ushering for the waitress to bring the check.

"It looks like it's going to rain soon."

Evan looked outside at the gloomy sky and nodded.He loved the rain,when it wasn't interrupting with his man date.Now,he'd have to go back home and cut short this amazing day.

"I wanted you to show me around but it seems that we'll need a shelter from the rain."

Evan nodded again,short of words at the strange look Nathan was giving him,and for being nauseous and sporting a major headache out of nowhere.His heartbeat raced above normal,and just now he realized his mistake.

"I need to use the bathroom."

He stood up,not waiting for him to answer,and paced his way to the washroom.Inside,he locked the door and glared at his reflection in the mirror.He looked pale and was dazed for not getting his injection.He fished out his med-pack,almost dropping his bottle of insulin.His hand slightly trembling as he fixed his injection and stared taking off his pants.

It usually did take a little bit of time for the medicine to kick in,especially since it was past his usual time for him to have one.He was having so much fun today that he forgot to take it,and was amazed that he lasted this long.

There was a knock on the door and he started to lift his pants back up.

"Evan,are you alright?"

"I-I'm fine."He stuttered,as he opened the door for him to get in.His medicine already hidden in his bag,making sure that Nathan wouldn't see it.

He fixed his shirt,washing his face again before looking back at the man who looked hesitant.

"Listen,if you're not feeling well,we could stay in a hotel close by."

Evan flushed at the idea,his eyes slightly widened at the boldness of the proposition and he subtly declined.

"I have work tomorrow,and my outfit is back home...Thanks anyway,but I'm fine.Just a bit giddy for too much excitement I had in one day."

Nathan smiled at that,walking closer to him this time.Evan wasn't comfortable with people invading his personal space,but something about Nathan that made him relax and feel natural about it.

"Are you sure? You could take a taxi in the morning to go back home and change."

I can't afford one,Evan wanted to say but he couldn't.He just shook his head and grinned apologetically at the man.

"I really can't,but thanks for the offer."

Nathan had him trapped between his toned arms,didn't seem to care about personal space.He was looking at him weirdly,and Evan felt himself getting lost in those ocean green eyes.

"Please...for me."He breathed against his lips.

Evan watched him leaning toward them and he couldn't move.All he could think of,was how they'd feel against him.How his first kiss would be,and how he should react.

Gabi's words echoed in his head,and he looked away at the last second,getting a kiss from those plump lips on his left cheek.

He blushed,gently pushing the frustrated man away and freed himself.

"I-I think...I-I s-should go home."He stammered,grabbing his bag and speeding out of the diner.

"I'm home!"

He heard Gabi yell,snapping him out from his day dream.He touched his cheek and grinned widely,blushing for getting a kiss from him.

"Someone had a pleasant time."

Gabi leaned on the door of their room with a sly smile.She had one of Cartoonz shirts which he knew they couldn't afford,and it had autographs allover.

"I bet you did too."

She dropped on the bed beside him smiling.

"Let me tell you,Cartoonz is one hell of a guy."

They both giggled like teenage girls talking about their crush.

Jonathan heard a knock on his hotel room's door and sighed knowing it would be Luke.He unlocked the door for him,huffing as he settled on his bed.

"Someone had a bad day."

Jonathan snorted,thinking if it was really a bad day.Evan wasn't an easy score like he thought he was,but he still had a great time with him today.He felt bad for not getting to kiss those thin lips that were teasing him all day long though.He'd never felt this horny about someone before until this kid came along.

"Seen better days."He mumbled,noticing how Luke was practically skipping in his steps."Can't say the same about you."

The bearded man laughed at that,like he just told him the funniest joke in the world.

"I just met someone that's all."

Snorting,Jonathan lied back on his bed."And you're calling me a jerk for hooking up with fans at these events."

"She's not just a hook up,and I'm not..."He stopped himself,trying to avoid another argument.

"You're not a sick and twisted bastard like me? Is that what you wanted to say?"

"Hey!Don't put words in my mouth...I just want you for a change to try and have a decent relationship...Ever since she-"

"Don't you dare,Luke!"Jonathan stood up fixing him with a glare."Don't you dare mention her name,or so help me god I will..."He trailed off,balling his fists at the pitiful look his best friend was giving him.

"I'm heading out."He grumbled,grabbing his wallet and jacket.Luke followed him,resting his hand on his shoulder,letting him know that he was there for him.


	4. Chapter Four

"What got you this upset?"

Tyler settled beside him,after ordering drinks for the entire group.They were in a bar nearby the hotel Luke and Jonathan were staying in.They all joined in after Luke texted Tyler for a backup to cheer him up.

They all noticed his sour mood,with all the huffing,puffing and occasional heavy sighs.They were used to a merry Jonathan,always making jokes and fooling around.He just wasn't feeling it or in the right mood to talk about anything,especially with Luke and Alex around.

They were both there when she left.When she used him like everybody else and left him to fend for himself.They were there when she ruined him,breaking his innocence and changing him to the person he was now.

She ruined everything for him.She turned everyone against him,his own father disowned him because of her.He had no one else but his dear mother,sister and his supportive group of friends.They all were by his side and helped him back on his feet.

She ruined his future,dragging him to her dark and careless world.Because of her,he lost his father,his education and future as well.If it wasn't for the loving people who cared for him,and the gaming and youtube world he got into,Jonathan would have lost much more than just that.

She seduced him in joining her dangerous life.Doing all sort of drugs and getting in all kind of troubles just to impress her.Even stealing from his parents,that resulted in his father kicking him out.His father who loved him once and was so proud of him until that day.That hurtful and disappointed look he had that day he kicked him out was engraved in Jonathan's mind,pulling at the strings of his heart everytime he recalled it.

Not being there when he died trying to protect him for being foolish and getting involved with the wrong people,shattered him.His father even bailed him a couple of times but didn't spare him a glance knowing how disappointed he was of him.

Jonathan lost everything because of her and she just left.No words or anything left behind.She just disappeared almost getting him in prison for years,when her parents accused him of being the reason that she disappeared.

He still remembered the time he spent in jail while he was being investigated.That was when he discovered his sexuality.Meeting with Kevin and getting along.Maybe it was just frustration or desperation.Whatever it was,it made him like the man and hook up with him.It was then when he first broke someone's heart and it felt good.Like seeing somebody else's pain distracted him from his own,so Jonathan turned it into a hobby.

If it wasn't for Luke and Alex who testified in his favor,he would've been still there for how much the police department hated him.After that he cleaned up from everything,getting addicted in having meaningless sex with people that he made them fall in love with him before breaking their hearts and disappearing.That was his new thing and he loved it...

"Yeah,what happened with that kid?"

Lui asked,chuckling a bit at Jonathan's wide glare.Luke beside him just sighed with a curt shake of head.

"We know that you met him today...Gabi told us."

"Who's Gabi?"He wondered with a frown,then he felt his brows pull up in realization."Oh,his friend."

Luke nodded,not hiding that disapproving look.He knew that he wouldn't say anything now since he was clearly upset.

"You didn't get any."Tyler teased and snorted at his harsh glare.His indifference only made him let out a defeated breath,listening to everyone laughing at his sexual frustration.

"He was more interested in the video games than he was in me.I'm pretty sure he had an orgasm just by watching a random gameplay...I even tried tempting him by holding hands.I'd let go and except him to itch for it and hold it,but he looked unfazed.I really expected that he'd give in when it started raining,but nothing worked.It was like he was immune to my charm or something."

He finished with an awkward chuckle,recalling the weird feelings he felt when he was with him.How his eyes would glow and shimmer listening to him talk about anything and everything.How he really enjoyed his time with him with no sex involved,and it was scary and troubling for him.

Nogla gave out a dorky laugh.

"Maybe he's not gay after all."

"Oh shut up,captain obvious.He's gay and you know it."

Nogla nodded,looking displeased at Tyler for the nickname.They started calling him that since yesterday when he almost gave away that 'Nathan' was Delirious.

"Sucks to be you."

The others nodded in agreement,making him groan.

"I even used the 'I know Delirious' card and still didn't get any result with him."

Luke still looked uncomfortable as he cracked a smile.

"Maybe it's a sign that you should find someone else.We only got tomorrow and we'd leave this place,and we all know that you're not aiming for a relationship."

"You leave that kid alone,Jon."Alex wasn't the guy to beat around the bushes when it came to him.Jonathan wouldn't deny that it was thanks to him that he got clean from the substances he used in the past."I have a bad feeling that not only you'll hurt him but you'll hurt yourself as well."

They kept staring at each other making the mood turn thick and intense.Tyler being the person who'd always defuse these kind of situations,wrapped his arm around Jonathan and smirked.

"I never understood how you do these kind of things...I mean how do you get them not to bother you after you get what you want?"

Jonathan looked away from those defiant glares Luke and Alex fixed him with and grinned.

"That,my friend,is the easiest part..."

 

Evan finished reading his book,waiting for the last customers to leave so that he could close the place.Mr Hugh,his boss,had already left the library in his trust and went home.The old man treated him like his kid,encouraging him to read more and dream higher and brighter than what he considered his future looked like.

He flashed a cheerful smile at the local professor who finished her research,wishing her a good night,and started the routine check before closing the store.

Outside,he got the surprise of his life finding Nathan leaning near the door waiting.A sexy smirk painted on his lips as he walked his way.

"W-What are you doing here?"

His face was beet red,catching a glimpse of the hard chest under that unbuttoned shirt.He looked away,fixing his satchel in an attempt to hide his flushed face.

"I went to the restaurant and you're friend told me about this place."Nathan had that kind of voice that was hard to forget.The kind that rang through your head,making you feel warm,light-headed,and impossible to ignore.

"I didn't know you work two jobs."

Evan adjusted his bag nervously before meeting his eyes.He shrugged as an answer,thinking that maybe Nathan would lose interest in him for being poor.His financial status wasn't always an issue for him,except when he had to pay the hefty bills.But now,being with someone who looked rich by how fancy his clothes were,Evan was a bit self-conscious about it.

"Wanna go some place with me?"

Nathan asked with a cheerful smile.His eyes had a certain glint in them that made him blush even more.He thought about yesterday's offer,of them staying at a hotel,and wondered if it would be the same request tonight.

"I-I can't."He stammered,his body burning in heat as his mind ran wild about what could happen in a hotel."I-I have t-to go home."

Disappointed,Nathan's jaw slackened and grabbed his hand.

"Please,Evan.I'll be leaving tomorrow and I want to have some quality time with you."

He looked at his feet under his pleading glare and muttered.

"I don't know..."

"We won't go to anywhere far.Let just go to a place where it's just the two of us,and have fun."

Evan looked up expecting to uncover any mischief,but those blue eyes were genuinely sad.

"Have fun?"He questioned,and Nathan grinned widely.

"Yep.We could talk and get to know each other even more.Watch some movies...Basically,we just chill and spend the time knowing each other."

Evan beamed at the idea,thinking of how it would be fun to spend time with him.Nathan seemed like a cool and honest guy,and it would be a shame if he refused him.Even though he had to wake up early tomorrow morning,he agreed and followed the man to a nearby hotel.

The lady behind the front desk looked a bit uncomfortable as she handed them the key card.Evan felt her eyes on him when Nathan grabbed his hand and pulled him toward the elevator.

Nathan kept him close to his body,not letting him go even when they stepped out of the elevator toward the room.Inside,he wasted no time in taking off his jacket and jeans,getting comfortable as he jumped on the bed.He patted the spot beside him making him blush deeper than before,yet he still obeyed.

Evan sat on the edge of the bed feeling uncomfortable,watching Nathan going through the snacks they bought.He placed the bag between them making him relax that there was no hidden intentions after all.

They shared laughs watching 'Why Him?' on TV.Evan was more relaxed by now lying down and laughing his heart out.In the middle of the movie,he felt the bed shift and found Nathan looking down at him with a mysterious smile.

"I love your laugh."

He said making him choke on his saliva.His throat felt dry seeing that the man was eying his lips with evident hunger.

"Nathan..."He started but got cut off when those lips he kept dreaming about the whole night yesterday met his.Evan being inexperienced remained still while those lips moved against his stunned pair.Nathan pulled away after a while with a deep frown.

"You don't like it?"He asked with a hint of something in his tone.

Evan shook his head almost instantly and looked away flustered.

"I never kissed anyone before,so I don't know what I should do."

Nathan grinned widely that it looked wicked for some reason.

"Just open your mouth baby and you'll get the hang of it."

"Wait-"

He was cut off again,and this time there was some tongue action involved.Evan always saw people in movies kissing and always considered the saliva exchange gross,but with Nathan,it felt hot and irresistible,and made him breathless.

He allowed the man to dominate his mouth,and only pushed him away when he heard himself moan a lustful sound.His eyes wide open for producing such sound,but it seemed that encouraged the man to go further.

Nathan's hand slipped under his shirt brushing his chest.His skillful finger immediately made him squirm and produce sounds he didn't know he could utter.Evan tried to move away,not liking the feeling anymore,but he wouldn't let him.

"Sto-Stop,Nathan."

The man refused to listen and lifted spread his legs apart getting in between them.This was too much for Evan who resisted with all his might to push him away.

"Nathan!"

He finally yelled,the other looked up confused and disappointed.He still had him pinned,and those bright eyes looked sinister that made lose their charm.

"I can't..."Evan tried to sit up pushing his shirt down but Nathan stopped him.

"I thought you liked me,Evan."He sounded almost hurt making him feel bad."I thought you're cool and wanted me as much as I wanted you."

He didn't like to upset him,biting his trembling lip and staring up at those glowing eyes.

"I'm not ready,I'm sorry."He stammered and the other just smirked.

"Don't worry,you'll love it."

Evan's begging didn't stop the man who took away his clothes.Nathan looked dangerous and scary making him panic.There was so much Evan could resist,being a virgin with no past sexual experiences made him an easy target.

His mind not in accord with his body,that gave in and let the man do as he pleased.Evan watched the man lube his hard erection positioning himself to steal away his innocence.He even cried in the middle of it,heavily breathing and hoping to pass out.

This night made him regret ever meeting this man.

Evan woke up to the unpleasant feeling of soreness.His head hammered painfully making him cringe.He blindly looked for his phone,squinting one eye open to check the time.He jolted up when it was way past the time he should wake up.He was late for work,and the manager of the restaurant didn't tolerate such actions.

He looked at the side Nathan occupied to find it empty.He rested his hand on the spot to find it cold.He figured that he must be in the bathroom or went out for something,which allowed him some to think.Remembering what happened during the night,he found himself shedding hot tears,feeling filthy and worthless for the first time in his life.He knew that this wasn't the right time for him to cry.Nathan could step out of the bathroom any moment now and laugh at him for being so childish about it.

Maybe this is how sex works,he said to himself as he wiped his tears.

Evan limped to the bathroom to check after a while of not hearing any sound,and just shrugged when Nathan wasn't there.He took a quick shower,considering the excuses he could tell his boss to not get fired from his job.His hands rubbed the soap furiously on his skin,trying to get rid of everything,hopefully the memory as well.He massaged his lower back and groaned from the pain,releasing a sob that he couldn't help but voice.

Was it really like this how making love should feel?

He stepped out after feeling satisfied of his cleanness,and froze when he found a small lady wearing the hotel uniform in the room.She looked as surprised as he was probably because she didn't hear him inside the bathroom.

He thanked god for wearing his clothes before stepping out.Blushing as he flashed her a smile that she didn't return.He just ignored her rudeness and watched her leave after giving a half-ass apology.

He texted Gabi telling her he'd be arriving soon,seeing if she could cover for him meanwhile.Evan glared at the bed thinking of the forceful act Nathan did yesterday again,feeling a bit of tears forming in his eyes.He stood up and sat in the nearby armchair,feeling disgusted of himself again that his body started to itch from how dirty he felt.

He completely hated it and considered to talk to Nathan about it.Maybe next time he could be more gentle about it,he thought.Blushing while he thought of establishing a relationship with the man and for thinking that there would be a next time.Seeking relief at the mention of relationship musing of how his life would be with Nathan in it,his mind forgot a little bit about what happened,feeling the beginning of a smile gracing his lips.

Imagining that made him ignore all his worries and doubt.Checking the time once more and wondering where Nathan was.

There was a knock on the door and the same lady walked in.She had a disgusted look on her face as she glared at him.

"Listen here.We don't accept this kind of things in our hotel...You take your clients elsewhere or next time we'll call the police."

He gaped at the woman in shock and bewilderment.

"W-What do you mean?"

The woman eyed him for a moment with the same harsh frown before she sighed.

"I know it's tough out there but selling your body isn't the solution.Especially for a healthy boy like yourself."

"I-I'm....selling my b-body?"

The woman shrugged eyeing something on his left while adjusting her rubber gloves.

"Anyway,the man you were with paid for the room and left,so you better get yourself out of here before the manager calls the police."

Police?

Evan looked at the night stand to grab his phone,and just then he spotted the money left there.His heart gave a loud thud staring with shocked eyes at the some of money.

"Nathan."He whispered,feeling the wetness of his cheeks from the tears.Sobbing harder when he heard the woman grumbled the word disgusting under her breath.

This must be a misunderstanding,he kept repeating in his head.Nathan wouldn't do such thing.

Holding his bag and walking in shame under the glare of the hotel staff.He felt humiliated,used and cheap.He realized that Nathan wasn't coming back and that this was true.All the events that occurred before circled his mind.Now he understood why his number was masked.Why was he insisting on spending time in a hotel.He fucked him for the night like a prostitute leaving the money as payment for his services.

To Nathan he was nothing more than one-night stand.

Evan began to panic,gasping for air in the middle of the street.People passing by looking at him weirdly,no one seemed to care and ask him what was wrong.To top it all he didn't get his shot for the day making his blood sugar drop.His hands were clammy,feeling dizzy and nervous.His heart pulse racing at a crazy speed that made him collapse on the ground.He watched with blurry eyes as some of the good people gathered around and call for help.

He felt his body shaking,foamy substance covering his mouth before his eyes rolled back into the darkness.


	5. Chapter Five

Him.

 

*In life, you can blame a lot of people and you can wallow in self-pity, or you can pick yourself up and say, 'Listen, I have to be responsible for myself.* Howard Schultz

 

The time after that day passed in a blur.Evan didn't remember anything from what happened after that day but him crying and asking why.The image of Nathan leaving kisses allover his body,of making him feel hot and needy,never left his mind.He had dreams about him,pleasuring him in a more gentle way than how he did that night,but they always turn to the same nightmare.Of him laughing at him and leaving him naked in public to be preyed upon by others.Nathan ruined him and ruined everything for him.Nothing tasted the same anymore.Nothing and nobody could make him feel better after that.Evan felt lonely and dead,and it was all because of that blue eyed man.

"Hey."

Gabi peeked through the door wearing a broad smile that Evan felt the need to return.He smiled a little bit looking down at the youtube video he was watching.It was a new video of Delirious playing Gear of War 4 with Ohm,Bryce and Luke.

The silly youtuber would always cheer him up no matter what.He giggled a little at his antics,feeling Gabi climb beside him on the bed and leaning on his shoulder to watch as well.

"He suggested to call their team 'blue balls'."

He muttered with a laugh and she chuckled as well,her calculating eyes watching him warily.She remained silent though,watching him while he pretended to be paying attention to the video but he had to pause it with a huff.

"What?"He asked,irritation laced his tone.

He handed her the phone and lifted the comforter hiding his pale face,buggy swollen eyes,and his unkempt hair.He didn't leave his room since he came back from the hospital,and that was almost a week ago.Evan knew that he lost his job at the restaurant because Gabi got fired too when she flipped off their boss calling him a cunt in the process.The old man at the library was understanding though,telling Gabi that the position was always open for him and that he should take his time to recover.

Gabi hooked the phone to the charger and looked back at him with a victorious grin.Ignoring his sudden change in mood like she did these past few days.

"Guess what? I found a good paying job at a small diner nearby...They said I can work two shifts since they're short of staff."She paused,looking hesitant to ask and he groaned.

"You want me to work with you."

He said in confirmation and she nodded with a sheepish grin.He rolled his eyes trying to pull the cover up but she grasped it in a tight grip.

"You need a job,Evan...You have medicine to pay for,and I can cover only the rent,grocery and such...I'm not saying that you should start working now,but it has to be soon...I drained all of our savings and those fuckers at the hospital had a hefty bill waiting for me when I wanted to discharge you."

Evan could see how much stress he put on his friend and it pained him.She didn't do anything wrong to go through this,and she didn't have to nurse his stupid ass yet she did.

"The landlord is now asking for his money and I ran out of excuses...."Tears were forming in the corner of her eyes,trying to stay collected for his sake and he could tell."I don't know what happened to you or why you had a seizure,and you could've died and left me alone...Everything wrong that shouldn't happen did,and I find myself not knowing what I should do or say."

She choked on a sob breaking down her usual hard and strong facade,and Evan sat up pulling her to his chest.He was lost of words,feeling the guilt weighing him down for imposing all of this on her.

"I'm sorry,Evan."She looked up and he frowned at the face she was pulling.Gabrielle looked almost as depressed as him.She somehow looked older than her age,with those dark circles under her eyes and cracked lips from lack of nutrition that she gnawed on everytime she brooded."I should be the one comforting you but it...It just got so overwhelming lately.Seeing you depressed and hearing your cries while I have no idea what's wrong."

"I feel helpless,Evan,and you know how much I hate feeling like this."

He knew and that what pained him the most.Gabi suffered as much as he did during her childhood,but she kept her smile unlike him.She was strong and had a positive insight about life,and that what he admired about her.She was the one who burst through his bubble when he was first brought to the orphanage.Even at a young age Evan knew what being abandoned meant and refused to let anyone else in.He refused to smile or interact with the kids around him,afraid that they'd leave and abandon him like his parents did.Gabi was there forcing him to talk and play with the others.She was only three years older than him yet she was wiser than her age.

He remembered how many times she'd climb to his bed and pulling him to hug for him to cry.He felt so loved being soothed with those simple words from another abandoned kid just like him.

"Shhh,Gabi."He rubbed her back,feeling that he was on the verge of tears as well.He refused to talk about what happened,for how stupid and humiliated he felt.He as well didn't want her to hate Luke.Seeing her smile with twinkling eyes whenever she talked about him,or hearing her talk silly when she was with him on the phone.Evan knew that once he'd say what Nathan did to him Gabi would go on a full protective mother mode and take it out on Luke.

"I'm just scared."She mumbled when she pulled away.He brought his warm hand to her face wiping away the tears that he loathed."I'm afraid that one day you'll get one of those episodes and never recover from them...If you die Evan,I don't think I can survive without you."

"Now you're being sappy."He joked forming a loving smile and trying to lighten up the mood.She pushed him down on the bed and huffed,heaving a deep sigh and stood up.Her hazel eyes shining with tears,yet smiling at him fondly.

"You're right.That was sickening."Her lips pulled up forming a grin and her eyes turned sharp as she added."Next time kill me if I get this over sensitive."

He nodded with a small grin,hoping to never ever see her like this.

"Now that this out of my chest,let me go and talk to the cranky man about giving us a little more time to pay the rent."

"You don't have to."

Evan stopped her while she was walking away.Her brows pulled together watching him go through his bag and pull out a some of money.

"Where did you get this,Evan?"

With wide eyes counting the money he gave her while he looked away.

"Evan,where did you get this?...There is about five hundred bucks here."Her tone turned demanding and suspicious.He couldn't help it but cry while he tried to utter the words.

"T-That's what I'm worth."

The words tasted bitter in his mouth,swallowing thickly at the reminder of that day.God knew how much he hated Nathan and what he did to him.He was the reason for screwing up everything.For his meltdown,for losing his job and causing Gabi to lose hers in the process,and also for making him hate watching the guys' videos.All with the exception of Delirious.His raspy voice and bubbly laughter always brought calmness and positiveness to his life,and he couldn't give that away.

Not only his voice.This past week,something about him felt so familiar and it strangely calmed him whenever he started crying.There was a certain strain in the voice of his favorite youtuber,and in Evan's mind he felt like Delirious felt his pain.It felt like he was sympathizing with him and sharing his sadness.He was even sick while playing his videos that made him feel some sort of comfort.

"What do you mean?"Gabi asked taking a seat on the bed.Her fingers griped the money tightly in her hand,indicating her concern and edginess.

Evan could hear the gears turning in that amazing head of hers.He knew that she'd come out with the reason even if he didn't tell.Gulping at what would come next,he gripped the patterned bed sheet and decided to confess.

"T-That day when I sent you that message about me spending the night at the library for some late night work,...I-I lied about my whereabouts."

He lifted his teary gaze to see the look of disappointment on her face for lying but it wasn't there.Gabi had one of those blank and cold expressions that'd make grow tense.So calm and serene that it looked deadly and scary.

"I knew that."She admitted with a sigh chewing on her bottom lip in irritation and clear anger."I asked the old man and he said that he left you back there to close the store,and that there was no overtime job for you to do."

His eyes cast down,cheeks heating up in shame for lying to his best friend.

"I'm sorry for lying and I wish I didn't...I knew that if I told you where I was going,you would've said no."

"What did he do to you?"

Her cold tone and sharp gaze made a freezing chill ran down his spine.He couldn't even hold eye contact with her from how firm her glare was,looking down at his bitten nails and feeling the tears stinging his eyes.

"What did that twat do to you,Evan?"

He started crying almost immediately,weeping harder knowing what would happen next.He'd just ruined it for Gabi and Luke as well,and he hated himself for it.He blamed his weakness and foolishness that would cause pain to others.

He glanced up at his friend who looked torn between glaring at him to speak or holding him closer to cry in her chest.Evan wanted to be held and comforted.He wanted someone to hug him and say that everything would be okay.

"I-I told him that I don't want to but he didn't listen...He said that he thought I liked him and I didn't want him to feel bad,b-but I still didn't want him to do it...H-He pinned me down-"

"He raped you?!"Gabi hissed through clenched teeth and looked like she was going to cry herself."That fucking asshole raped you and left!"

Evan nodded feeling more disgusted of himself,absently started scratching his arms violently,that if he had nails he could've drew blood.

"H-He left t-that money on the nightstand."He sobbed harder and this time his friend pulled him for a needed hug,rocking his body a little bit to sooth him."H-He left the money,and...and the cleaning lady came in and called me out for selling my body..."He trailed off,gasping for air while sobbing in his best friend's chest.

"It's alright,Evan."She said with a strain in her voice."Cry it out,baby.Just cry it out."

"I-I don't understand why he did that."He admitted and his friend didn't respond holding him tighter to her chest.He felt her kiss his hair mumbling something that didn't reach his ears.His heart was pacing harder that it hurt.It hurt all over his body and he wished the dreadful feeling would fade away.

"You'll feel better after you cry,I promise."

He did just that,feeling a bit lighter that he told someone.What happened was eating on him this whole week and wanted nothing but to scream his frustration and despair out.

After he calmed down,he felt tired again like any other day since he got back from the hospital.He felt Gabi leave a loving kiss on the top of his head before leaving the room and closing the door.

As his eyelids fluttered close,Evan wished to sleep without any dreams,nightmares or interruptions.To have a good long hours of sleep and hopefully wake up to a new day.

 

Jonathan was recording a video with the guys.It was just a slow day,trying to find something fun to play together.His lack of sleep made him grow literally delirious.He was quiet while the others fooled around,throwing some meaningless laughs from time to time just so no one could catch on his weirdness today.

He felt horrible after that dreadful morning.He recalled how he watched Evan in his sleep debating if he should follow his routine plan by leaving the money,or just leave a message saying that he had to go and he'd call him back.He knew if he did the last one the boy would've grew attached to him more,but at least he'd feel better about it.He wouldn't feel like an asshole as he did now.

He never felt that way about someone before.The guys and girls he'd picked up were always eager to sleep with him,but Evan was different.He was different from the first time he laid eyes on him.Even the guys knew that he wasn't different,asking him to leave the boy alone.His innocence was so intriguing.His deep chocolate brown eyes and thin untouched lip were alluring.

He just couldn't resist to ruin that and he didn't know why.

Jonathan couldn't believe that he went that far into forcing him to have sex.And the worst thing about it,was how scared he felt once he was done.Seeing him pass out,tears staining his innocent face.His lips swollen and cheeks burning in warmth.He knew if that kid woke up he'd hate him,and Jonathan didn't want to be the one neglected...again.

Another thing that kept him on edge all this past week,was how Luke didn't point that out or say anything.He was always on the phone with that girl,and he never said or mentioned anything.It only made him grow worried about Evan.He was for sure alright physically or else Luke would've mentioned it,but mentally,that was what concerned him the most.

I messed up big time.

"You're awfully quiet today,Delirious."

Lui was the one to point that out,his GTA character standing infront his motionless one.Jonathan scolded himself for spacing out so much and making them notice.He couldn't help it when his mind kept reminding him of how much of a senseless jerk he was to Evan.

"Yeah,and it feels so weird."Marcel noted.

"That's what she said."Nogla slyly replied with a dorky laughter.

"Haha,very funny Nogla."Brian countered sarcastically,shooting a missile at the paper-bag man and failing to hit him."How did you do that?"He asked dumbly,unaware of the car speeding his way killing him in the process.

"Fuck you,Tyler!"

The pig masked man just laughed at Brian's character glitching inside his car until only wheezes could be heard.

"Guys,"Mini started standing as well infront of Jonathan's delirious character."Can we be serious for a minute...What's wrong,Delirious?"

The lobby got silent,his friends waiting for him to speak.Jonathan groaned trying to come up with an answer for his unusual silence today but nothing seemed to click in his troubled mind.

"Leave my gay boy alone.He still feels bad for not getting some in Richmond."

"What happened in Richmond?"Brian asked Tyler since he couldn't make it to the gaming event hosted there.

"A lot."Nogla said with a chuckle that stopped abruptly as he added."Am I supposed to edit this part out?"He whined lazily making Craig groan in answer.

"Just pause the recording,you dumb fuck!...And yes,edit it out,you'll be doing a favor to your subscribers."

"Fuck you,Mini!"He yelled sounding offended but everyone knew how thick skinned he was.Nothing seemed to upset him except when he'd lose a game.

So much for seriousness.

Jonathan leaned back on his seat when Luke asked him if he was okay once the banter between Craig and Nogla settled down.Those two always seemed to find something to argue about.

"Just a bit tired that's all."That was his answer,heaving a hefty breath and looking around the recording room that seemed to be closing in from how cornered he felt.

His friends didn't buy it but they didn't probe on it.Brock did hum wanting to ask more but he reconsidered it,joining the rest in pretending that everything was alright.They were about to resume their recordings when Luke excused himself to take a call.He sounded awfully excited and Jonathan could hear the smile in his voice.

They decided to start without him,playing some Gmod when GTA got so boring.He tried to brush off the guilt he was feeling and laughed with the guys at their antics.They all seemed to forget about his awkwardness when he started laughing and teasing the guys while playing Prop hunt.

They were enjoying themselves and didn't notice that Luke had ended the call abruptly until Brock pointed it out.They all didn't think too much into it,figuring that it must be a connection issue or something.Jonathan thought the same,that until his phone went off with Luke in the caller ID.His heart jumped to his throat,thinking if he finally learned what happened.He knew that it must be it or Luke wouldn't leave the Skype call just to call him.

He muted the guys and answered trying to keep it cool.

"Hey...Where you are,man?"

"What the fuck is wrong with you,Jonny?!"Luke sounded more than pissed making him gulp loudly.

"What did I do?"

"Drop the act,Jon.You know what you fucking did,and for the first time I feel sick to my stomach about it....I told you to leave the kid alone and you go do something that extreme!"

He was short of words and didn't know what to say.Actually the first thing that popped in his mind was how Evan was doing? He knew that he wasn't in the right place to ask that question so he kept his mouth shut.

"He could sue your dumb-ass for what you did.You could go to jail for this,Jon...What the actual fuck were you thinking?"Luke finished with a heavy sigh.Disappointment and sadness dripping from his tone.

"I-I didn't do anything wrong."

"Really,Jon? That's how you're going to play it."Luke stopped talking for a solid minute then added."For the first time in my life I am really ashamed to be your friend."

The beep sound made Jonathan pull the phone away from his ear and throw it across the room.

He'd really fucked up and he knew it.

 

Evan stopped on his way home at the bridge.A usual place he visited this past few days to relax and think.It had a decent height with the best view over the large cloverleaf lake.The night looked peaceful,no stars to be seen but a bright full moon casting its light on the empty bridge.He inhaled the clean air of autumn chill night and sighed contented.

Working and occupying his mind did help with forgetting what happened two weeks ago.He started to smile a lot,even though sometimes it was forced to assure his best friend that he was alright.He started considering it as a learning experience in which he'd learned not to trust anyone anymore.

He leaned on the white painted railing thinking about Gabi.Luke had been calling her everyday and she refused to reply.He felt bad that he was the reason she ended something that was about to start.Something that could've been beautiful and great for her.He could see past the tough act that she was suffering too.Maybe she even loved the man.

Of course she did,he thought with a sigh.

"Hi,Evan."

He was startled by the familiar voice that clicked in the back of his mind,and when he turned he got the shock of his life.It was him.The man that was first to cause him all the pain.The man that took away his first years of happiness.The one who abandoned him when he needed him the most.

Passed the wrinkles and the roughness of his features,there was the same person that had a major part in ruining his life. 

His father.

Even though he was too young to remember,that face was engraved in his mind.The face of the man that was always yelling and shouting at his birth mother.He now looked older,yet healthier.He was well dressed for someone who abandoned his son at such young age for money problems,as Evan believed.A sheepish smile,teary red tea eyes and a nervous stance.

Behind him,was a younger woman wearing those kind of dresses that showed the kind of ritzy household she was raised in.Semi-collar dress with a flower arrangement at the hem of the skirt,buttoned all the way up to her pearl necklace.

"Do I know you?"

Evan tried to pretend that he didn't know him but his eyes failed him.Few silent tears rolled down his cheeks stinging his eyes similar to the nights he wept in that cold bed at the orphanage.

The man looked like he was about to break down in tears as well,looking at the woman who nodded in support before meeting his eyes.The door of a fancy car that was parked so far away opened and both Scott and Gabi stepped out.The latter looked ready to run to his side and hug him for support,but something stopped her.

"What do you want?"Evan's voice wavered as he wiped away his tears looking defiantly at the man.

"To hear me out."His said softly,and his voice made Evan's feet wobble that he had to grab the railing to stand.

He didn't say anything and the stranger took it as an invitation to talk.

"I never gave up on looking for you,and had to beg your friend to show me your place."He looked back at Scott who smiled curtly in response.

"I'm sorry but I can't do this right now."

It was almost a whisper when it left his lips,that was how weak and tired Evan felt.He moved to leave making sure not to get closer to the man.He was a stranger who left him for almost sixteen years.He knew nothing about him and he wasn't ready to hear excuses about why he was abandoned.Evan knew that he wasn't worth to be loved by anyone.Nathan did prove it.

"Your mother was a sick woman,Evan."The man called after him.He could hear his footsteps matching his own to catch up to him."She was psychotic.A mental illness she was diagnosed by after you went missing."

Evan stopped walking looking back at the man with a sharp glare.

"I said,I can't do this right now!"He hissed through clenched teeth but the man refused to back down.His father grabbed his hand tightly and forcing him to stand still while he wanted nothing but to run away.

Evan wasn't ready for this.He was still trying to move on from what Nathan did,and now he had another man disturbing his peace and quiet.

"I looked all over the country for you. Valerie had burned down the house leaving me with nothing but an old picture of you as a baby.She disappeared-"

"Please."Evan bellowed,breathing heavily to the verge of panic."I can't do this,please."

He felt himself give in when the man pulled him to his chest crying.They both stood in the middle of the bridge in each other's arms crying and sharing each other's warmth.

"I'm sorry,son.I'm really sorry for not finding you sooner."


	6. Chapter Six

Family.

To be hugged lovingly by your father would feel like the world around you agreed on keeping you safe and protected from anything and everything. To be hugged by your father who you haven't seen for most of your life was like a focus of energy filled with pure love, care, and safety engulfing you. It meant that you have someone that really cared. That you were not going to be abandoned anymore. That now you can breath relieved sharing all your troubles with a man who'd make sure to do his best to take them away.

That was how Evan felt at that moment. Under the rain like some ending scene of a dramatic movie, him in the arms of a man who he had never believed he'd meet. A man who was now crying over his shoulder. A man who was kissing the top of his head like any father would do to his dear child while placing him in bed.

The amount of love radiating from him was so overwhelming. Even in this cold weather, Evan felt so warm in that embrace. His heart drumming and playing a melody from his lost childhood, so strong and powerful that matched the rhythm of the rain around them. He refused to let go afraid of what would happen next.

What if all of this was a pigment of his imagination?

Clutching the fine fabric of his father's jacket in a good grip, pulling him closer to his chest as he sobbed harder than before. He kept begging in his mind for him to be real; that for once he should get a break in his cruel life and have a moment of happiness.

Evan pulled away when Gabi rested her hand on his shoulder. Her teary eyes were smiling fondly at him, so were those rich brown eyes of his father. The man had a wide smile that graced his tired features. Evan studied him. He studied every inch of that face that resembled his own. His hair, eyes, nose, to his jaw line. The man was an older version of him.

"Why don't we get in the car."

The woman who was with his father spoke softly. She smiled at him, an innocent and loving smile that Evan would get only from Gabi. His father refused to let go, changing to a hug and pulling him toward the car.

Once they were all in, Evan was lost in the man's warmth to acknowledged anything. The woman chose to drive them back to not separate them. She must have known that both of them needed to get their body and mind reconnected again. Scott by her side on the passenger seat while Gabi sat in the back on his left side.

Evan lifted his head and looked at the man who was staring back at him.

"I-I'm sorry," he apologized with a faint smile making the man frown at the sudden apology. "I ruined your shirt." He added, referring at the wet spot where all his tears dried off.

The man chuckled fondly, a resonating sound that made Evan's heart dance in sync. He smiled seeing the man laugh. Memorizing how his wrinkles creased and dimples deepened. He felt the need to archive this moment in the happy section of his mind. A section he was hoping to fill from now on with happy memories.

"He's right, Evan. We should get home quick and change before you get sick."

The woman glanced at him through the rearview mirror to make sure her words were heard. She must have agreed with something his father said while he was dazed by that lovely chuckle.

"Home?!"

The word was so powerful to him. Home for Evan was the Orphanage for most of his childhood, then the crappy apartment he shared with his friend for more than a year now. He was aware the 'home' that this woman was referring to was different from his understanding.

"Home." His father repeated with a smile. "Now that I found you, there is no way I will let you go."

Evan's eyes teared up again at that promise. He wanted nothing but to hear these words when he was a kid. When he stood by the front gate of his school watching parents waiting in their cars to pick up their kids. It hurt so bad, seeing those loving smiles most of the parents had. Seeing them kiss their kids and listening to them talk about their day. Evan would watch imagining how it'd be like to have someone waiting for him at the door. The things he would talk about with his parents, what brand of a car they would own, the house he would live in, and what kind of a dog they'd own.

All the things and more that Evan was deprived from at a young age. He'd go back to the orphanage where the headmaster would try his best to cheer him up. Saying that being orphan build a great man.

What a lie.

They arrived to a house, bigger than what Evan imagined. Even in the dark he could tell how well tended the front yard. Gaping at the long distance that separated the front gate from the house, double the size of the apartment he lived in.

The woman parked the car and his father pulled away making him feel cold as he got out. Gabi smiled at him and nodded, stepping out of the car too. Evan just sat there hesitating. This was a huge step for him. It was already too late for him to keep that hopeful door to his heart closed. It opened the moment his father called his name. He knew that he wouldn't be able to survive if he lost him again. Evan didn't have it in him to pull through another setback.

This was it for him.

A hand reached through the door for him to take, his father peeked his head through with a nervous smile nodding. Evan knew that he lost the last drain of the doubt in him when he grasped that hand, which was now a lifeline for him to survive in this world.

His father was right. He refused to let him go and even asked Gabi to stay with them. She tried to refuse but he insisted offering a better job opportunity, too good for her to refuse.

Evan learned that his father was the financial manager of one of the top petroleum companies in the world. He was hardly home as he traveled overseas for his job requirement. Isabel was his wife that he married for six years now, the daughter of his boss and the woman who helped him out of his depression.

He told him about Valerie, his mother. How they fell in love when they were young. Henry, his father, didn't know she was sick until Evan went missing. They were separated before he was born, and he only got the news of his birth from close friends. He said that he tried to see him and earn custody over him, but the law was in her favor.

They found out about her illness when Evan went missing and so did his belongings from the house. The police questioned the woman who said that the demon took back his child, believing that he was the son of Satan. She was hospitalized for a few days, the police thought that she must be having a nervous breakdown for losing her child. They didn't know how she got out of the hospital; his father said that he got a call that the house got burned down, that his son was missing, and the mother of his son had been institutionalized.

He didn't learn about his disappearance, that until he got that call. The police claimed that they tried to reach him but his number was turned off at the time-He was out of the country for business back then. They looked for him for months, fearing the worse that his mother killed him. That was until his father ran to a friend who told him that he met his wife back in December at the local bus station. With no pictures of him, but the one as a baby and a blurred image of a camera footage from the bus station's security tapes, finding Evan was like finding a needle in a haystack. Yet still, his father was hopeful.

Maybe it was god, fate, or both that destined for them to meet again. Henry and Isabel couldn't have a child so they planned to adopt, which led them to visit the orphanage. By coincidence he heard Scott talking on the phone to someone about Evan. He went through a great deal for the headmaster to show him his records, where he learned about Evan and how he got there.

Evan did feel sad that his mother was sick, and was hoping he'd get to meet her as well but unfortunately she died. He did forgive her though. All that grudge he held against her for years diminished, knowing that she wasn't in her right mind. He took in everything that happened in his past as learning experience. It was a plan by fate for him to be humble and grateful for what he had.

And he was. It felt good to have a family. To share your happy and sad moments with people who truly cared. To not care or think about from where to get money to pay for the bills again. All that horrible stress was gone, lifted by his father. Evan felt the need to rest now and let other people take care of him.

He was in his father's library, reading a book to strengthen his knowledge about criminology. His father shared the same taste as him when comes to books, which always made him smile. There was a faint knock on the door, Gabi walked in looking dead tired but happy. She was hired at his father's workplace as an administrator for the finance team. His dad helped her to settle down, her computer skills came in handy making her more than suitable for the job.

Only a month in, and Evan's life had changed to the better. Isabel's father had planned a charity event to raise money for the orphanage which would be held next month. It was sort of a party for him to welcome him to the family. The old man promised to cover most of the expenses for the kids at his old home to get better schooling, food, clothing, and most importantly a chance in life.

"It's not fair." Gabi whined, lazily dropping dead on the couch beside him. "I get to work my ass off while you spend the whole day being the lazy ass you are."

He wiggled his eyebrows, putting aside the book to give her his full attention.

"Henry told me to take my time to settle down before deciding what I should do next. . .It's not my fault you told him that you can't stay here without a job."

He finished with a sly grin which she huffed for in response. Her eyes roamed around the room, sighing heavily that he could sense the relief she felt.

"So, this is our home. I have never imagined living in a house let alone having a whole room as big as our old apartment dedicated for a personal library."

He smiled leaning his head on her shoulder.

"It feels like a dream that I don't want to be awaken from."

He felt her nod checking the time on her phone. It was barely past six, and since she didn't have work tomorrow, Evan was hoping to do something fun. Her phone interrupted their brief moment of peace, Luke's name flashing in the screen.

Evan leaned back up to look at his friend who kept glaring at the screen. He offered a smile nodding for her to take the call but she again rejected it.

"You should answer him."He offered, fighting the frown that was always followed by the memory he tried so hard to lock away."You should give him a chance and listen at what he'll say."

She gnawed on her bottom lip with a frown, looking at him with so much uncertainty.

"You think?"

Evan knew that she liked the guy and most definitely missed him. He nodded with a wide grin.

"He must be having hard time because of you. Didn't you notice that he started playing solo for a while now?"

His friend nodded, fighting the beginning of a smile at the thought of the man missing her too. She didn't even look at the screen when her phone went off, picking up at the first ring.

"Desperate." Evan whispered and giggled at her playful glare. He decided to give her some privacy leaving the room to go and rampage the kitchen for something to snack on.

"Evan, can you help me with these?"

Isabel said as she walked in through the front door. She had loads of shopping bags and so was the young man behind her.

He helped her with the bags. Jay, their in house maid, took some as well from the gentleman, and they both made it upstairs to Isabel's room.

Going back downstairs with a bounce in his steps, Evan almost fell on his face if it wasn't for the young lad.

"Are you okay, Evan?!"

Isabel dramatically exclaimed making him blush even more embarrassed when the man chuckled.

"He'll live."

He replied with a playful tone offering him a gentle smile.

"I'm Ben by the way."

"Evan." He replied shyly. His blush deepened when he was caught starting. Ben was too handsome to ignore. An attractive smile, a firm jaw with a stubble beard. His chestnut hair looked like it was styled by a professional. Dressed in a casual attire but he still managed to look like a model from this fall's latest trend.

"I know."The other remarked, narrowing his eyes slightly in a silent question. Both startled by the inhuman sounds coming from the woman beside them. She was flustered with a creepy grin that made Ben roll his eyes.

"I'm this idiot's friend." He said, earning a shove from Isabel.

Evan stood there in silence watching them banter, giggling when the woman started screaming, hiding behind him for protection.

"You're lucky that Evan's here or I could've killed you."

The way his name rolled of those appealing lips made Evan's whole body flush in warmth. He had to force himself to look away, licking his lips and busying himself in finding food.

Isabel flipped her long hair back with so much sass.

"You can't do it. You'll miss my fine ass."

"I'll miss mine not yours." He mimicked her sassy tone. "Someone with a sexy ass like mine will be destroyed in prison. Right, Evan?"

Evan blushed under his dominating glare and was forced to nod. Isabel cackled when he did and Ben smirked.

"So you agree that I have a sexy ass."

"Oh my god. Evan, don't answer this idiot and excuse his gayness."

He just chuckled awkwardly, hesitantly meeting those brown eyes that stared back at him with something undefined in them.

"Evan?"

Gabi peeped into the kitchen, looking both at Ben and Isabel before waving him to follow her. He dropped the bag of chips he had just scavenged and hastily left the kitchen, not before hearing the whispers that he left behind.

"What is it, Gabi?" He asked as soon as he walked inside her room. "What did Luke say?"

"It wasn't Luke." Evan noted the disappointment in her tone. "It was Alex, the tall guy with glasses, jet-black hair and piercing blue eyes."

Evan shook his head at her lousy description and she huffed.

"The man who was sitting next to Brock and that scrawny black dude at the restaurant."

"Oh! I remember him, what did he want? Did something happened to Luke?!"

Gabi shook her head, tapping the space next to her on the bed for him to sit.

"He wanted to meet us, saying that Luke was feeling depressed. . .I told him that we're not in that side of town anymore but he insisted that we meet. He said that he have something important to tell you, Evan, so I told him that I'll check with you then get back to him."

"I don't want to meet him if he's going to talk about Nathan, Gabi."He slightly whimpered. "I have just found Henry and I don't want him to hate me if he finds out about..."

He trailed off, swallowing thickly and forcing himself not to cry. Isabel seemed like a cool woman but he wasn't sure about his father. What if he learned that his gay and threw him out back in the streets? What if he was abandoned again for being so weak that he let another man force into sex? Evan couldn't risk it. He had just found the family he was looking for and there was no way he'd give it up even if it was over his own true self.

Gabi nodded in understanding and smiled faintly.

"I will talk to him. . . And I decided to call Luke as well. I-I think it's time for me to hear him out."

Evan smiled happily at the deep blush that covered her cheeks.

"And you should stop calling your father by his name. You'll make him happy if you call him father, you should try it for your sake."

She added and pushed him outside her room.

"Now leave, I have an important call to make."

He overlooked the nervousness he felt at what she said and grinned.

"Gabi and Luke sitting on a tree-"

She slammed the door at his face making him burst into a fit of laughter. He skipped down the stairs again and was met with his father who looked like he'd just got in.

"Hey, son." He said with a smile, and Evan hesitated a bit before replying with a word his father was longing to hear.

"Welcome home, dad."

It was worth it. Seeing that wide smile and those glassy wide eyes, Evan knew he did the right thing. He blushed trying to play it off like he didn't just call him dad, that until strong arms pulled him to that hard warm chest.

Delirious was on the phone with his assistant who was trying to convince to go to some charity event. It was a fundraising for an orphanage in Richmond but the event itself will be held in Raleigh.

"You'll go as my plus one and no one will know that it's you. . . It'll be like a gaming event for the kids to have fun."

"I don't feel like going anywhere, Sam." He grumbled and the woman sighed.

"If you come then the guys will want to join as well." She reasoned. "Maybe Luke would go too which is an opportunity for you to fix everything between you guys."

He groaned, walking to his kitchen to grab a beer.

"There is nothing to fix between me-"

"The fans started to notice, Jonathan. They also commented on how Brock, Tyler and Lui stopped playing with you."She paused, talking to someone in the background about something involving his merch. "I don't know what happened between you guys but you should fix it. . .The fans love watching you play solo but love you more when you play with your friends."

"Fine, fine."He huffed."I don't need this first thing in the morning."

"But you don't mind a beer first thing in the morning." She bit back slyly.

"I'm hanging up."

He threw his phone on the couch, gulping the cold beverage and cringing at the bitter taste.

Jonathan knew that his assistant was right. He needed to fix his relationship with his friends. They all got mad at him after finding out. Tyler called him out in one of their recording sessions, telling the guys what he learned from Luke.

I was okay with you having 'fun' your own way, but to rape a kid. . . that's just sick.

Tyler was beyond pissed. He and the others always played it off that they were cool with him fooling around with fans, but they all turned their backs to him when it came to Evan. So what if he wasn't a slut like the rest of the people he bedded? He was just young and he'd most definitely become one eventually.

Jonathan refused to admit that he was in the wrong and thought that it was Evan's fault. He was the reason he was a mess right now. He was the reason his friends abandoned him. All except for the few who stuck around to avoid any drama in the comment section.

Maybe Sam was right, he thought. An event like this could get them together. He could apologize properly and maybe even fix his friendship with Luke as well.

It'll be hard but not impossible.


	7. Chapter Seven

Evan wore a broad smile directed at Gabi. He looked in disbelief at the gift she bought him. His father smiled fondly and so did Isabel. They all were happy for his laughing fit, filled with both joy and astonishment.

"This is for me?!"

He asked his friend who rolled her eyes and chuckled.

"Yes, so try it on." She pressed and giggled when he let out a sound like a squeal.

He lifted up the shirt, the smile never leaving his face. He wanted to get one for far so long, and would always find something that was needful for him to buy instead. Even now, that he lived with his father who provided him with everything, Evan refused to ask for it.

He shrieked and hugged his present, that was a black Real Delirious shirt.

He took off the shirt he had on and putting this one on, surprising his friend when he pulled her into a warm embrace. Attacking her with kisses that she pleaded for help.

"Thanks, Gabi."

She chuckled and ruffled his hair like the big sister she was.

Isabel beamed at both of them, hugging his father who looked contented by the whole situation.

"Alright," Gabi went on pulling away softly from his arms. "I need to get ready for the party. . . Just give me around half an hour and I'll be done."

She hurried up the stairs, his father following suit to change from his work clothes. Today was the fundraising event and they had around one hour to get there. Isabel was already in her blush pink chiffon dress, knee-length with dantel in the back. She looked so elegant and sophisticated in it.

"I should change as well." Evan mumbled sadly, hating the idea of taking off his new shirt.

"You look just fine, Evan." Isabel offered a smile. Narrowing her eyes and assessing him before she hummed."We should do something about the hair, though."

She left no room for him to argue, dragging him to his room.

"Are yous sure it's alright for me to go there wearing this?" He asked her again and she groaned playfully.

"Totally fine. . . It's an event for kids to have fun. It's only the old farts who'd be wearing formal clothes."

"So, you're an old fart as well?" He gave her a sly smile in which she replied by a fake glare.

"Your father gets a lot of attention from those desperate old hags. I need to look good beside him."

She tried to play it cool but the pink hue that dusted her cheeks said otherwise. She was jealous which made Evan smile lovingly.

"You're so smitten." He joked making her giggle musically.

"Aha? You're the one to talk."

Evan looked at her through the mirror with a confused frown. She stopped fixing his hair and smirked.

"I'm talking about Ben."

He couldn't help it but blush, both in shame and shyness.

Seeing through his worry, Isabel made him look back by a gentle touch on his chin.

"Why are you pale all of sudden?. . . There is nothing wrong in liking him-"

"Please don't tell dad."

He could feel the tears welled up in the corner of his eyes. Fearing that his father would get ashamed of him for being gay.

"Oh, honey." Isabel cooed caressing his cheek with a soft smile on her lips. "Your father won't think of you differently just for being gay. . . That man loves you so much-"

"I do."

His father's voice boomed through the room wearing a scowl on his tired face. Evan let the tears flow down his cheeks, thinking that expression written on his father's face was pure anger, shame and disgust.

"You think I'll love you any less for being who you are?"

"I'm sorry." Evan whispered back, ashamed for misjudging his father. His nerves calmed down instantly, easing relief into his mind. His heart fluttering with the warmth that filled him. The warmth of safety, love and care he felt in this house.

"You should be." Henry joked fixing his bow-tie in the dresser's mirror. "I had my gay adventures in college and I know how it is."

Evan looked at him with stunned eyes that made him chuckle.

"Yeah, and I'm so proud of it." He looked at Isabel who was grinning. "I don't regret anything about it, but. . ."

Evan felt his brows furrow anticipating what he'd say next.

"I don't know about you being with Ben."

His cheeks quickly heated up, eyes downcast to his feet fidgeting slightly.

"There is nothing between us." He stammered, and looked up when he heard a smack. Isabel had her hand on her hip wearing a scowl.

"What's wrong with Ben? Huh?!"

Henry fixed her with a knowing looking that she sighed defeated to.

"Alright, I get it. Ben is way older than him and could be a player sometimes-"

"All the times."

Grumbling, she huffed. "You know that no one could be better for our son than him." She paused, blushing and smiling sheepishly at Evan. "Is it okay to call you son? You can say no if you don't want to. . ."

Her gentle smile and caring eyes had him nodding. And was happy that he did, by that triumphant expression she wore after he did. His father just looked beyond ecstatic making him smile coyly at that.

"Back to our talk," Henry said after Isabel stopped suffocating him with a hug. Her eyes were watery when she let go, joy written allover her face. "I want my son to experience a relationship with someone his age. Not a player who's almost at the age of his father."

"He's twenty-nine." She argued, her lips forming a frown.

"Umm, guys." They both stopped their heated glares giving him full attention. Evan twiddled with his thumbs, allowing a smile to form on his lips, happy that his father was fine with him being gay and openly discussing what was best for him.

"There is nothing between us, and I'm not looking for a relationship right now."He admitted, chuckling at the childish pouty lips of Isabel. "I'm happy to be with you, guys, and I feel content-"

"Stop the BS, Evan." Gabi walked in making him gape at her attire. He was used to her tomboy style, never imagining to see her wearing a dress. A low cut short black dress at that. She blushed at their sudden shock and silence, his father whistling teasingly making her blush harder.

"You look great, sweetheart."

Isabel fixed her side bangs, and Evan noticed how Gabi gulped awkwardly at that. He knew that she wasn't used to people caring, being the usual caregiver.

"Thanks." She mumbled looking back at him with a raised eyebrow. "What do you think?"

"Wow!" He gasped making them all chuckle at that. "Gabi, you're wearing make up!"

She chuckled at that, flashing a shy grin.

"I know, right?"

"You look beautiful, Gabi." He smiled back.

She gave him that look which said it all. It expressed how happy she really was. Like the real happiness they experienced every Christmas at the orphanage. When they'd get gifts and play in the snowy courtyard. They'd share laughs and toys, loving the glowy redness of their cheeks in the frosty coldness of the night.

A shriek made them all look at Isabel, being her usual self.

"I'm just so happy."

Henry pulled her to his arms shaking his head.

"I'd apologize but I'm sure you got used to her by now."

Gabi chuckled and so did Evan. Watching him kiss her when she scowled.

A phone chimed at the right moment of them going too far with their 'innocent' kiss; Isabel grinning when she checked her own.

"It's Ben." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively making his father groan.

"It's not happening."

She wasn't listening as she hurried out of the room. Gabi looked at them inquisitively before narrowing her eyes.

"Was he the reason why you were arguing earlier?" Her eyes widened, looking back at his father. "Hold on. Does this mean you know about..."

Henry nodded with a little smile. Evan blushing again, hating that he was back in the center of attention.

"I think you need this, Evan." She said after a while.

"There's nothing-"

"I'm not talking about him in particular. I just think you need to have someone in your life besides us. You need to experience what real love is."

She locked her knowing glare with his gloomy one making him immediately look away. His father must have caught on as he asked.

"Real love? You mean that you were in a relationship before, Evan?!"

He didn't answer and couldn't look up afraid of what he'd see. Especially when he heard him mumble something about him being young along the lines.

Henry sat beside him, his hand lazily dropped on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry that it didn't work out with whoever they were, son." He paused making Evan aware that he was nervous and hesitant about what he'd say next. "Did you. . .Umm, you didn't have sex, did you?"

Evan looked down flustered, eyes bulging out of their sockets. He heard Gabi's breath hitch, and he knew she must be kicking herself inwardly for that slip of a tongue.

Henry heaved a hefty sigh, rubbing his shoulder before standing up.

"I can't believe this. . .I guess- Umm, it's fine I guess."

He was clearly uncomfortable with all of this. Tormented and bewildered by whether to yell at him, scold him, or just comfort him.

"Just, always use protection." He chuckled nervously, tapping his black shiny shoes as he left the room.

"I'm sorry, Evan."

"It's alright." He grinned slightly to ease the concern Gabi was feeling for him.

"I thought. . ." She trailed off when he looked down trying to force back the tears from pouring down.

Evan hated this. He hated to be reminded of that day. He hated that his father was probably thinking that he was a man-whore. The disappointment in his tone said it all.

"He looked guilty." Gabi trailed him back and he frowned in confusion. "Your father, he looked guilty and regretful. . .He probably blames himself for not being there for you and not parenting you about it."

It.

How can you teach a dunce person like him, who got easily wooed by sweet words and bright eyes into having sex?

"Maybe," His friend went on with a strain in her tone. "Maybe you should tell him. It'll help him understand you-"

"No!" He jumped up from the bed, eying her pleadingly. "Please, don't. Not now at least. . . I'll tell him, I promise."

She nodded with a sad grin.

"Whenever you're ready."

"Hey, guys!"

They heard Isabel's call, both staring at each other for a minute there. Evan burrowing a bit of strength from his friend, gulping down the lump that was formed in his throat at the mention of that incident. He wiped his eyes, forming a smile on his lips before following Gabi down the stairs.

Tonight, was a night for him to have a fun. To celebrate his new life, his new family and the new bright future. The past was the past, it was time for him to move on. Take the experiences he learned throughout his life into making the best out of his future.

Tonight, was the night where he'd leave that incident behind him.

And he was right.

The venue was packed with people. Media coverage by the front gate, snapping pictures of the invitees. Inside, the kids from the orphanage oozing with excitement, uplifting the spirit, trying different games. Few Youtubers were there as well, making him wonder if the guys would attend and if he was ready to see them.

The chairman, Isabel's father, welcomed him as part of his family. Showing him off to his friends and calling him his grandson. It was strange to say the least, but Evan learned to embrace this positive weirdness. He let the man hug him, drag him around the place and introduce him to his deep pocket friends.

This new life was so overwhelming but he started getting the hang of it. He knew that it wouldn't be easy to get used to the environment, nor getting used to Isabel and her father treating like and calling him family. But for the sake of his father, Evan would learn to accept it. He'd learn to love this new life.

He got separated from the crowd, finding Scott and some old friends playing COD against some gamers. Not any gamers; it was Mini and Terroriser.

His eyes lit up, joy overcoming the depression that always followed at talking, hearing, or seeing them. He was more excited for his friends who were thrilled to have a chance to play with and against their idols. Gabi was there as well, fanning over Mini who had a large smile on his face.

Evan was more happy to meet Terroriser. The handsome Youtuber looked overwhelmed by the amount of love the kids were showing him. Looking like his small army of minions, wearing his merch.

"You missed the giveaway." Scott stood beside him, dressed sharply with his tailored gray suit and slicked back undercut of a hairstyle. "The kids will be leaving with more than what they came with."

His heart swelled up knowing how happy everyone was. All smiling, giggling and laughing, just like every Christmas night. Even the famous Youtubers were ecstatic, genuine smiles graced their features, chatting with their fans.

"And it's all thanks to you."

Evan shook his head and looked back at Scott.

"That's thanks to dad, Isabel, her father, and them." He nodded toward where Mini and Terroriser were standing. "This wouldn't happen without the goodness of their hearts."

"Yeah," Scott agreed. "And not only them that will show up. I heard that the rest are coming too. Even Delirious has sent his assistant."

"Really?!" He beamed at his friend, eyes sparkling with joy.

"Yep, who do you think sent the invites?"

"You?" He doubted and his friend chuckled.

"That's why I said it's thanks to you, Evan. . .It's thanks to you that Gabi found a home, that I found a great job in which I could do what I love the most, and in which I got the opportunity to make the kids happy."

"Mr Campbell, Isabel's father, offered me the job of corporate assistant manager. This is my first major event, in which I can say that I did a fantastic job."

"You did." He grinned.

Gabi joined them, blushing to the tip of her ears.

"Luke is coming this way."

Evan looked back in time to get noticed by the bearded man. His face showed both confusion and regret, striding in a steady pace toward him.

"Hi, Evan." He smiled sheepishly.

Evan pushed back all his insecurities and the bad thoughts that came with, smiling back.

"Hi, Luke."

"Hey," Gabi peeked from behind him almost making the bearded man choke in surprise.

"Gabi?!"

She blushed when he didn't hide the hunger in his eyes, raking her body, seemingly surprised.

"What're you guys doing here?"

Evan stepped back unnoticed, leaving them to their own conversation, aiming toward the upstairs balcony to get some air. Seeing Luke affected him more than Craig and he didn't know why. Maybe because he was so disapproving of him the day they met, or maybe because Nathan had said they were good friends.

Evan breathed in once he was met by the chilly air. The wind blew through his hair making him close his eyes and hum in content. He heaved a sigh, smiling at the crescent moon and the twinkling stars.The clear night sky always made him feel calm. Always helped when his mind was running wild about something. . .

"Evan?"

He felt it when his heart skipped a beat. He felt it hitting his chest by how fast it was racing after hearing that voice. He hesitantly looked back hoping that he was just imagining things. That maybe seeing Luke made him imagine his voice.

That maybe. . .

It was him.

Nathan had the same stance from back at the restaurant. A hand in his dress pants' pocket, cold blue eyes piercing into his own.

Evan stepped back, his feet wobbling in process that he supported his weight on the stone railing.

"It's really you!" He heard him say.

Nathan made a move toward him, and stopped with a frown when he started breathing heavily.

"I won't hurt you."

Evan couldn't understand why the air wasn't reaching his lungs. Why was he find it hard to breath. His eyes blurred, hands sweating, and his lips got so dry.

"I'll leave, just breath please."

Nathan sounded concerned. Evan watched him open his mouth saying something that didn't reach his ears. His heart was exploding inside his chest deafening him with its loud thuds. What happened that night all came flooding in. It all flashed infront of his eyes. Of him waking up to a cold bed after being forced into having sex. Of the cleaning lady who spat her disgust, calling him a whore. A memory of the money Nathan left behind and the walk of shame he took to get out of the hotel. . .

"Evan? What's wrong?"

His father had a frown pulling him to his chest, his voice wavering as he urged.

"Breath, son, breath."

"Dad," He managed to say, clinging to his dress vest, grateful that his broad chest covered his sight from the man that broke him. He started sobbing once his lungs started working again, burying his face in his father chest.

"Who are you? What did you do to him?"

"What happened here?"

He heard Ben wonder, his footsteps getting closer to them in a haste.

"I don't know. I came here to find him panicking and this guy watching."

Henry kissed the top of his head, rubbing his back for him to calm down.

"And who're you?"

Ben sounded angry and suspicious. Even though he couldn't see him, he assumed that he was glaring at Nathan.

"I-I'm, . . ."

"What's going on- Nathan?"

Evan pulled away from his father, just enough to see Gabi glaring back at Nathan.

"What are you doing here?!" She hissed.

"Who is he?" His father calmly asked.

Gabi glanced back at him and flashed him an apologetic look.

"He's a fucking rapist. . ." He closed his ears not to hear what she was saying, looking back at his father who looked dangerous and scary for the first time.

"Hey! I didn't-"

Evan gasped when Ben attacked Nathan, punching him in the mouth and sending him to the ground. He was pulled back by Luke, when he tried to punch him again, and Nathan glared up at him, spitting the blood off his mouth.

"Calm down, man." Luke mediated, holding back Ben when Nathan smirked. "It's just a misunderstanding."

"It's not and you know it!" Gabi argued back, glaring at the bruised man who stood up and straightened up his suit. "He forced himself on him-"

"I didn't. Evan consented with what happened." His eyes met his cold ones, boring at him with something Evan couldn't identify.

"Yeah," Gabi snorted in disgust." That's why he's in this state, right? That's why he's been hospitalized for days, almost losing his life in the process?!. . .That's why you left him money on the night stand like some fucking whore, you sick bastard?!"

"Gabi," Evan bellowed, pushing away from his father in shame. The latter snapped out of his shock state and gripped Nathan by his collar.

"I'll sue you! I'll get you imprisoned for what you did!. . .That, if I don't kill you before the police could get here."

Nathan didn't react. A stoic expression unreadable as he looked back at Evan.

"Please, we all need to calm down and talk civilly about this."

"What's there to talk about?" His father's grip tightened on Nathan, pushing him back against the wall.

Evan couldn't help but sob. He was ashamed, humiliated and scared. He didn't want his father to find out this way. He didn't want to look weak infront of everyone.

Especially infront of Nathan.

"Please, for his sake."

Luke offered making Henry loosen his grip on Nathan's shirt.

"Thank you." He sighed, making sure that there was some distance between his friend and the men that were aiming to kill him. Gabi looked beyond pissed that he was defending him.

"Here you are!" Isabel walked in, frowning at the hostility in the air. "Everything's alright?"

The silence was deafening, Evan was hoping someone would say something to distract him from the thoughts that filled his mind.

Nervously smiling, Luke glance at his father."Everything is fine, right?"

Henry looked at his son, his eyes showing a twirl of emotions, analyzing him before nodding.

"Umm, okay?" Isabel sounded doubtful. "There are some guys asking for you, Evan."

She frowned at his swollen eyes and reddened cheeks, yet she didn't say anything. Evan was ushered by his father followed by Gabi and Isabel.

 

Jonathan's eyes trailed after them until they disappeared inside. He puffed a breath looking back at his best friend and the stranger who hit him.

"People like you make me sick."

"Listen, dude. I don't know what's your deal with Evan-"

"Drop it, Jon." Luke shut him up with a firm glare making him huff. "We should just leave."

"Oh, no. He's not leaving. . .The only place he'll be going to is jail, after I call the police."

Jonathan smirked back at him. The idea of calling the police didn't scare him. They wouldn't be able to pin any charges on him. Evan willingly walked with him to the hotel, if they'd check the security cameras. They walked in hip by hip like any other lovers, or a paying customer with a hooker. Evan was eighteen, the age of consent in Virginia, so he didn't do anything illegal.

"Sorry, umm?" Luke got between them when his smirk fueled the anger of the guy. Jonathan was sure he wasn't Evan's brother, by how far they looked apart, and not some relative either. He figured that he must be a friend. An older friend?

"Ben." The man grumbled, his brown eyes never leaving his own.

"Listen, Ben. We should just sit down and talk about this. Jonathan came here to apologize."

"Why did you call him Jonathan?!"

They all looked back at that girl friend of Evan. Her eyes menacingly narrowing toward him.

"Tell me, Luke, why did you call him Jonathan?"

"You didn't even tell him your real name, and I was wondering why Gabi was calling Nathan."

Luke was speechless under their accusatory glares, but not him. The moment he saw Evan, he wanted to tell him. He wanted to crush his spirit by telling him who he was, but he couldn't. Seeing him shaking and trembling in fear. Seeing those eyes filled with tears. Hearing his sharp intake of breath and scary squeaky sounds he made to breath. Jonathan felt his heart clench in pain knowing that he caused that.

Instead, he wanted to hold him. He wanted to say how sorry he felt. How stupid he was for acting that way. He wanted to hold him tight and take that fear away.

"Because that's my real name." He confessed, watching her frown deepened in thought. "That's my name but in fear that I'd be recognized I went with Nathan."

"D-Delirious?!" She exclaimed, a mixture of emotions showed on her face. One of which was disappointment.

He nodded and took few steps toward her, noticing how she hesitantly stood her ground.

"I messed up and I'm sorry. . .I want to atone for what I did, please."

Luke stood beside him, being supportive as usual. The stranger looked lost and confused, looking back at Gabi for explanation.

"You can't. . .'She stammered making his face fall, then she added."You can't tell him. . .Oh my god, Alex is talking to Evan right now. He can't find out."


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long but I had a lot of thinking to do about this chapter. One more chapter left and this story will end.
> 
> Thanks for your patience.

His loss.

 

Evan sat across from Alex and his lookalike in an empty room filled with tables and chairs that weren't used for the party. Both dressed in fashionably suits like models out of a latest trends magazine. He could tell that the man beside Alex was his twin; A little on the leaner side but shared the same features.

He locked his eyes with those rich blue ones and the man smiled.

"I'm not sure if you remember me, but I was there with the guys at the gaming convention."

Evan nodded and looked at his father who didn't stop glaring at them in suspicion.

"My name is Alex and this is Axel, my brother."

He reached over with his hand and Evan took it, still shaken up by the fact that he just saw Nathan. Axel's hand was much softer and so was his shy smile.

"I'm Evan's father, and not to be rude but what do you want to tell my son that it's urgent?. . .He's not feeling well and I was hoping to take him home."

Alex frowned clearing his throat.

"Did something happen, Evan?"

He looked down trying not to cry. Henry held his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

"As you can see, he's not feeling well. If this is some legal issue or anything-"

"Not of that sort, and I'll be quick. . .I'm actually trying to stop any legal issues from happening."

Evan felt it when his father realized who they were. His grip tightened around his hand in utter protectiveness.

"You're that asshole's lawyers, aren't you?"

"I'm not." Alex replied calmly, ignoring the bitter tone his father's voice held. " But my brother is."

Henry stood up and tug his arm forcing him to stand up.

"I'm not listening to any of the bullshit that you'll say right now. . .My son is the victim here, and I'll make sure that asshole of your client to pay for what he did."

He pulled him toward the double door to leave but Alex again stopped him as he spoke calmly.

"If you know what's best for your son you'll stay and listen to me."

Henry hesitated a bit but continued toward the door against his better judgment.

"The hotel staff confirm that your son was a hired hooker."

"What the fuck did you just say?!"

His father was fuming, letting go of his hand to hold Alex by his collar. Instead of breaking the fight, Evan started crying ashamed of himself and for what his father would think of him.

Henry stared at the man's calm expression, obviously unfazed by his threats. His brother looked bored by his side, pushing back his reading glasses over his nose bridge and handing him a file.

"Can we sit down and talk like grown men."

Alex offered and Henry debated before reluctantly letting go of his collar and taking a seat. He went through the file that had some low quality pictures showing both Evan and that guy holding each other. He looked up at the horror filled eyes his son had and quirked a brow in question.

He didn't want to accuse him of anything but still he didn't know him. The son he knew was just a toddler. A lot could happen as he grew up. He wouldn't blame him for anything but himself. Henry just refused to think that his son would resort to prostitution to survive.

"I went behind my friend to get these. I wanted to have something to protect his ass just in case. . .He always have been troublesome, so I learned from experience."

Alex explained and his brother handed another thin file to his father.

"I was hoping we keep this discreet and not get the media involved in this. . .My client did nothing wrong but spend the night with one of his fans-"

"Hold on." His father cut in asking the questions that made him frown as well. "Media? Fans? Who the hell are we talking about?"

Alex looked back at Evan and his frown deepened. He nodded for the confused man to look back at him, and that was when his father noticed. He was having one of his episodes due to blood sugar drop, sweating profusely, panting and hands shaking. To top it all, he was sobbing hysterically.

"Evan?"

"I'm sorry, dad." He kept repeating between sobs. Henry got up and helped him to a seat knowing that he must be dizzy and weak. Axel looked scared, showing the first emotion under that stoic expression of his, and handed him a small bottle of water. He cleaned his face hoping that would wake him up from his daze.

"It's alright, boy." He tried to calm him but it wasn't working. He noticed when his eyes started to roll out and he panicked.

"You! Go ask the woman that was with me earlier to bring his medicine!"

He turned back his attention to his son, trying to keep him from fainting.

Alex nodded to his brother who left hastily the room, and got closer to the heaving boy.

"What's wrong with him?"

Henry didn't look back at him watching his son with panic filled eyes.

"He has diabetic type two. . . He must have forgot to take his daily shot."

"He's having a shock, isn't he?" Alex stammered and crouched in front of him. " Maybe he already got his shot and didn't eat afterward."

Evan felt his father's hand on his chin making him meet his eyes.

"Son, did you take your shot?"

Evan struggled to shake his head no, trying so hard not to give in and shut his eyes. He knew if he did that there was a risk of going on a coma.

Minutes later, Isabel walked in holding her bag. Through blurred vision, Evan watched her trembling hands pulling out a syringe and the vile of medicine. He looked back at his father's concerned eyes and tried to calm himself. He could hear other people in the room and two people by his side trying to comfort him, but he didn't dare to look away from his dad.

He didn't feel the needle pierce his skin but felt the medicine when it kicked in.

"Better now, son." His father looked like he was about to cry. He nodded and painted a ghost of a smile before looking around the room. He first saw blue before recognizing that face. Nathan looked pale crouched beside him wearing a worry filled expression.

He tried to look away but he didn't let him. Against everyone, he pulled him to hug forcing him out of the chair to his lap.

"You scared me, Evan. I thought I was going to lose you."

Evan couldn't understand what was going on but didn't try to push him away either. He just let him hold him the way he wanted to be held that dreadful morning he woke up to at the hotel.

"What did upset him?"

He heard Gabi ask, boring her eyes at Nathan.

"I did and I'm sorry." Alex apologized and Nathan pulled away to look back at him. " I didn't know that he was sick."

"I'm not sick." He managed to say, blushing a bit when Nathan smiled.

"You are and you should've been careful and took your meds on time." Gabi scolded him. " You promised, Evan, yet you go and do something reckless as that."

It was passed his usual time for the regular shot but he didn't think he needed it earlier. He was feeling fine right before Nathan showed up.

"Now that you're fine, we're leaving." His father stated firmly and pulled him up from Nathan's lap, shooting the latter a deadly glare. " And you, stay away from my son. You might have built a case against him if he wanted to sue you-"

"Built a case? What are you talking about?"

"Well, ask your lawyer who'd just called my son a hooker."

Evan wished he could just bury himself in the ground from embarrassment. Now everyone learned how stupid and naive he was. They could even get disgusted by him.

Nathan stood up and glared at both men.

"What the fuck?"

Alex just rolled his eyes glancing at him before looking back at Nathan.

"I was just trying to protect your ass, Jo. Just imagine this going out to the media, how much damage it'll cause you."

"You kept saying the media all this time, just who the heck are you?"

Evan stepped back eyes wide open staring at Nathan. The latter like he felt his eyes on him, looked back with his guilt filled pair.

"Gabi?" He called for his friend who looked at him with a saddened gaze. Luke mirrored her expression, his eyes studying him. Even Ben looked aware of what was going on, carefully bracing his body in his arms.

Evan looked back at Nathan and the tears made it back. All the events that happened flashed through his mind. The way they met. His voice. The way he played the games and the way he talked about himself. He realized why Luke was glaring that day at him so much, why Nogla was goofily laughing for no reason whenever he mentioned that name.

He looked back at Nathan and forced himself to say the name.

"Delirious?"

He heard him mumble something about Alex not telling him before he tried to reach for him. Ben pushed him behind his back and stood there facing the man.

"Evan, I need to talk to you. . .Can you move?"

He tried to push passed Ben who didn't move an inch and seemed to be trying to control his anger. Henry came behind him startling him when he placed his hand on his shoulder.

"Let's go, son."

He nodded still stunned. He stared disappointed at his savior during the dark times he once had, and opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.

He left the room blocking all the voices around him. He felt like his whole world just crumbled down. He felt numb knowing the man he always cherished and respected was the same one who left him at the hotel that morning. The same man who forced himself on him. The same man who stole his innocence.

Delirious, the man that saved him once was the one to kill a huge part of him. . .

"Here," Ben was by his side holding a glass of Juice. He just noticed that they were outside on the porch. Only the two of them. " Your father went to apologize to Mr Campbell and tell him that we're leaving."

"We can stay. . .I only brought him trouble." He mumbled the last part and Ben made him look at him.

"You didn't, Evan. . .Your father is beating himself up for not being there for you, thinking he could've stopped this from happening. It's none of your fault that some people are sick and twisted."

"Nathan. I mean, he's not a bad guy. . .I think."

"He is."The other stated firmly and pressed the cup of juice against his lips. "Drink, Evan. You just had your medicine, you need this."

He did as he was told and blushed when the other wiped his lips with his thumb.

"I know that it'll take time to move on from what happened. Although I still don't know who is he and I don't care. I just don't want you to lose your trust in people. . .There are people here that really care about you and love you."

"Yes, Evan." Gabi appeared behind him. He frowned looking hurt and she saw right through him. " I've just found out who he was minutes ago. When I left you in the room with Alex was when I learned who he was, and I'm sorry."

He looked down not allowing himself to tear up anymore. Delirious just broke his heart, as the person he pretended to be and as the commentator he loved and adored. Evan still believed that he wasn't a bad guy but he was sure he wouldn't be able to look beyond what he did. He just wished that he never learned who he was and that he remained as the stranger who hurt him. Now, all those memories he had watching the famous youtuber were sullied and ruined.

He looked up at the right moment to see him, the man who broke his heart followed by his friends. He looked broken and weak, eyeing him longingly in want. Evan looked between the group of friends then back at him and smiled.

"Thank you." He said in all sincerity and his eyes teared up. "Thank you for being who you are."

He stepped back when Jonathan walked toward him, and held into Ben who understood and ushered him to where the valet was waiting with the car. Evan didn't look back worried that the past would chase him if he did and ruin his future. A future that looked bright and filled with its own great memories.

A future that he'd live from past experience and not whimsical thinking.

In the end, he wasn't the one who lost.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final Chapter: No Regret.
> 
> It did take me so long to update and I don't want to bore you with my reasons. I just want to thank you for being patient and showing me support throughout this story. A piece of advice from someone who knows the meaning of loss: Love yourself and don't regret your decisions, whether they're good or bad. They're a learning experience that would keep you humble, true to yourself, and toughens you.
> 
> Much love and respect ;*
> 
> * * *Naughty stuff ahead ;) * * *

"What are you doing?"

Strong arms wrapped around him, pulling him against a warm chest. Evan smiled when he felt him lick the nape of his neck and hummed pleased when he started kissing it. A hand slipped under his shirt, warm fingers circled his left nipple and started teasing it.

Evan moaned and blushed at the sound, trying and failing to push away from him. He had him cornered. He couldn't even move away from the sink. His hot body pressed against him warming his own. He could feel his imprinted hardening member against his small back. He blushed deeply, hearing the voices of the others in the living room.

"Mmm. . .Stop."

He didn't listen, his hand was getting adventurous trailing down to his sweat pants and palming him. A lovely chuckle was heard when he squeaked, his lips not stopping from abusing his soft skin.

"Your body doesn't want me to stop."

Evan found himself melting to the touch. He leaned back against that chiseled chest to support himself. His knees felt weak and his heartbeat increased. He loved it.

He heard a groan, his arousal filled the air. He'd been holding back for so long but today he snapped for some reason.

Evan moaned when the hand of his assailant slipped inside his pants and squeezed his firm ass. The sound he made was loud and demanding.

"If you don't be quiet, they'll hear us."

"Stop." He warned and it like encouraged the man that pressed harder against him, slipping his hand passed the waistband of his boxer and caressing his manhood.

"S-Stop." Evan breathed and tried to wiggle away but to no avail. "P-Please, stop."

The event that happened that dreadful night, a year ago, made him panic. His breathing ragged and his eyes watered. He could hear himself begging for him to stop but he wasn't heard. He still remembered the physical pain and the mental pain too that came afterward.

"Please, Ben, stop." He sobbed and the man retracted his hand turning him back to look at him. He looked regretful, angered and concerned. Evan tried to look away but he held him in place with a firm grip.

"You know that I didn't mean to, right?"

Few tears slipped down Evan's flushed cheeks, biting his quivered lip for making the man doubtful.

"Evan, I wasn't planning to hurt you nor force myself on you. . .I just thought that you're fine with that. . .I mean we've been dating for months now, and I'm not saying this to pressure you or anything. . .It just I thought I could help by showing you my love-"

"I'm sorry." Evan stopped the rambling man and offered a small, dry grin. "I did like it but . . ."

"We can try slowly." Ben said in full hopefulness. " We'll go at your own pace. . .You tell me when I step the line and when it gets hard for you to withstand."

Evan nodded and Ben pecked his lips. His warm hand wiped his tears away and grinned widely. Behind that grin, Evan could see the worry he had for him. He wished he could just move on from what Delirious did but it wasn't easy.

"I'm sorry, Evan."

Ben pulled him to his chest and rubbed his back comfortably. "I wish there was a way for me to make you forget."

He wasn't sure if he wanted to forget. That was his idol who did that to him. Although it was the worst thing to do to anybody, Evan still had some feelings for the man. It wasn't love but it was something. Respect, maybe even obligation.

"You're getting awfully cozy in here."

Gabi smirked at both of them and seemed not to notice his reddened eyes. She must've thought he was crying over her leaving. She decided to live on her own, closer to Greensboro where Luke resided. Evan didn't blame her but part of him was disappointed. He always believed that they'd be together forever. Even when he moved in with his dad, he always believed that Gabi would always be beside him. After all, she was the one he trusted the most.

She grinned and pulled him to a hug. Evan could see the tears threatening to fall. She squeezed him hard to her chest and sighed in his hair.

"We'll talk everyday and I'll try to visit you every weekend." She nodded to him once she pulled away. "You can always visit me. . .My apartment is small but there is always a place for you there. Remember that, Evan."

He mirrored her expression and tried to look happy for his friend. She needed her freedom and have a life of her own. Now that she had a well-paying job and a boyfriend, she'd need her privacy.

Ben wrapped his arms around him and kissed his temple.

"Don't worry about him. I'll keep him busy all the time."

Gabi grimaced and feigned puking.

"Bad images." She groaned and shook her head, tears of joy filled her eyes. He could tell that she was happy for him as he was for her. She was hesitant at first, but seeing how everybody in this household formed a protective circle around him, she was reassured. . .relieved.

Evan blushed when those soft lips lingered on the top of his head lovingly. He looked up and met those brown caring eyes, and smiled. He too had realized that he'd be fine, and that it was time for him to let other people in his trust zone.

 

"What is this?!"

Evan gasped once he walked in his room and was met with a gaming console. It's been few days that Gabi left and he was a bit depressed. Bored and dispirited, with nothing to do. He started working for a local daycare facility to not feel idle; just a small job to keep his mind busy, and it worked.

Ben had a wide grin watching him gaping at the Xbox One.

"This is for me?!"

"Yes." He pulled him to where it was set up. "I spoke to Gabi and we decided it'll be awesome if you guys started playing together."

"She has one too?!" Evan exclaimed and giggled when Ben kissed him. He looked so adorable, eyes sparkling and happily twinkling. Ben couldn't help but stare at him fondly. He couldn't stop smiling watching him squeal at each and every game.

Setting up Rainbow siege six, Ben handed him a controller and walked him through it. Gabi still didn't join yet which allowed him to practice. They played random online matches, Evan sucking at every one of them.

By the time Gabi joined, Ben was showing him how to play. Evan sprawled on his lap, excitedly watching him play. They joined a random match, Ben handing him the controller and the headset for him to play, that after informing the other teammates that he'd bring armor. And by chance or fate, it was an important one. Delirious, Ohm and Cartoonz were part of his team.

Ben must haven't noticed, now being well informed about who Jonathan was.

Evan felt at loss of words, sitting there silent. He considered that fact that they could be fake, just some of their fans that who used their names to troll others. That until Cartoonz started dissing Ohm and calling him out to his fans.

He froze in place not joining the rest in defending the place. Gabi must had been shocked as well, not saying anything for a while. Briefly later, he heard her asking him to leave the party and join another one. Evan didn't know what to do, and the worse part was how his heart gave out when he saw Delirious aiming his gun at him.

"Hey, Vanoss, drop the armor." Butchering his gaming tag, Delirious kept calling him out for being AFK.

"Hey, fucker! Drop the damn armor!" Luke yelled and Evan dropped the controller moving back. Right in time, Ben walked in to his room carrying the cold beer he went to fetch earlier.

"What's wrong, Evan?" His eyes darted to the controller with a frown then to the TV screen where he spotted the players. He cussed and took the headset away from Evan, getting in control of the game. With no hesitation, Ben shot Delirious which started a verbal feud between him and Luke. For sure the others didn't know who they were, voting him out of the party once the round finished.

Ben sat there staring at the screen then looked back at Evan who held his feet against his chest with his hair covering his eyes. He didn't get to say anything when Gabi called him. Evan just stared at his phone with a blank expression before handing it to Ben.

He walked out of the room talking to his best friend, leaving him alone. Evan looked at the TV screen and smiled. A tearful, yet joyful expression. He giggled and soon after turned to a full on laughter. He was no longer able to hold it as he lied on the floor holding his stomach and cackling like an idiot.

"Evan?"

Ben looked at him concerned, and crouched beside him; Evan pulled him on top of him and smirked.

"You must've pissed him off for sure. I can hear him yelling and cursing, then probably laughing like maniac once Luke shot you. . . I could hear him, Ben. And you know, I thought I'd be sad or frightened when I'd hear his voice, but it turned out that I'm not. . . I was shocked, yes. Shocked that I was with him in the same team, a once in a lifetime opportunity for being part of his large fanbase."

Ben still looked troubled, probably questioning his mental stability.

"I'm fine, I promise." He kissed him to assure him. " This made me realize something. While I withered here in self-loath and despair, Delirious was living his life like nothing had ever happened. . . I know now that I really don't mean anything to him, and I know that I'm nothing-"

"Stop saying that." Ben scolded.

Evan cocked his head to the side and smiled.

"But that's the truth and it's alright. I knew this about myself as far as I can remember. . . I knew that I was nothing in this world. That I wasn't meant to be someone important to the world, to my previous boss, to the people at the orphanage-"

"You mean the world to us. To Gabi, your parents and to me, Evan. . . You're in shock right now and that's understandable."

Evan frowned at why Ben couldn't understand him. He must've thought that he was self-loathing while for the first time Evan felt something new toward himself.

Love.

Evan realized that he loved himself, his life and how it turned out. He was thankful to Delirious for teaching him a life lesson. Showing him that sometimes you should be selfish and care about yourself. He was thankful that his mother abandoned him that day. If it wasn't for her, he would've never met Gabi, Scott and others. Thankful to his father and Isabel too. Also, thankful to have someone as patient and loving as Ben by his side.

Evan snaked his hand around the doubting man's neck and pulled him closer to his face.

"I love you, Ben."

The man's brown eyes widened at what he said and he knew why. He never said the L word, even when Ben would say it with ease, all the time. His reply was always a hum or me too, but never did he say it. He felt bad for that but loved how this man understood. How he didn't force him to say it back.

Now, his eyes looked glossy staring at him intently with a bewildered expression. Then his expression turned cold and bitter. He frowned and tried to pull away.

"What?"

"Nothing." He tried again to move but Evan held him close. He was for sure doubting him. Maybe him saying that he loved him at this moment angered him.

"Let go, Evan. I . . ." He trailed off looking away.

"I do love you, Ben." And before the other could protest Evan added. " I loved you since the first time you punched Jonathan for me. . .I loved how you held me close and got pissed over me. At that moment, I knew that you're the one."

Ben kept his calculating eyes on him not uttering any word.

"I couldn't say the love word because it was missing from my vocabulary." He giggled at the memory of when Gabi made him say it back to her. "I couldn't love anyone afraid that I'd get hurt. It's been years and I think I forgot how to say it and mean it."

He pulled him closer to his face, fondly staring at the man who sneaked on his heart and made him care. " I didn't want to say it before. I felt it's unfair to say it back when I wasn't sure of its meaning. But now, Ben, I realized that I really do. I love you and won't be able to live without you. You, father and Isabel became as important as Gabi. You being extra precious to my heart. I love you, I love you, I love you."

He sighed and chuckled.

"It feels nice to say it."

"Say it again." Ben breathed against his lips.

Evan blushed but didn't hide his intentions and readiness for them to move forward with their relationship.

"I love you, Be-"

He was attacked by the man who claimed his lips in an affectionate kiss. Evan grunted when their hot bodies pressed closer, perfectly molding and reuniting their souls. He smiled to the kiss and opened his lips inviting the man to go further.

Ben did just that, ignoring the doubts that filled his mind. He hurriedly removed Evan's shirt, breaking the kiss for mere seconds. His fingers found their favorite play-toy, squeezing those tanned nipples until he heard his man moan.

He unlatched their lips, smiling fondly at Evan before moving down to his neck. He growled when the latter started feeling up his body. His warm fingers traced up his spine making him shiver in want.

Evan didn't know when or how he turned up on his bed. Both naked, panting and watching each other in crave. Ben's lips danced carefully down his body, settling on his hips making him squirm. His member leaking and begging for attention, Evan never had ever felt this kind of want. His lips opened on their own and begged Ben to take him.

"Are you sure?" His brown eyes half-lidded in haze.

Evan couldn't even look up, moaning for him to go ahead.

When those lips circled the tip, Evan released a sound he didn't know he was able to produce. He could feel Ben smirking as he swallowed him whole. Bobbing his head, his tongue teasing the slit making him go nuts.

"Ben, I . . ."

He pulled back making him whine then blush when the man grinned. His eyes trailed down that chiselled chest to that V-line, almost screaming when he was met with a rock hard appendage. He panicked for a moment thinking if it would fit, then forgot about it when those lips he adored the most met his own again.

He yelped when fingers circled his hole prepping it.

"Are you fine?" Ben whispered and Evan nodded for him to continue.

He threw his head back when they reached his prostate. Not holding back his moans when they skillfully moved inside him.

"Ben!" He screamed when those fingers were replaced with a hard member, filling his desire and hitting the right spot that drove him to oblivion.

"Evan." The other moaned, slamming faster and deeper, getting sloppy as they both reached their climax. "Say it again."

Evan chuckled and winced a bit, feeling violated yet pleased.

"I love you."

Ben devoured his lips in a passionate kiss, moaning in each others' mouths as they released.

 

"You didn't have to bring all these stuff."

Gabi flushed at the shopping bags they carried inside her apartment. Henry, acting like a parent, inspecting her apartment and frowning at how small it was. Isabel helped herself with some of the snacks Gabi had ready for them, being her usual self in snooping around the cabinets.

Evan stuck beside her avoiding Ben who couldn't keep his hands to himself. Gabi noticed and giggled at that.

"Ben, stop bullying him."

"I'm not. He's the one who's bullying me. . .I only asked for one kiss."

Evan glared at him and looked at his father apologetically. The latter scoffed and glared at Ben.

"I still don't like you."

"Oh, I know." The other rolled his eyes. " I only want Evan's love."

He blushed, hiding his face in the fridge pretending to look for a bottle of water.

"Someone is smitten." Gabi teased and slapped his butt making him yelp.

"Hey!" Ben found his way to him and held him close. " I know that his ass is tempting but I'm the only one allowed to touch it."

"Oh, god." Both him and his father groaned. He felt him rubbing his ass, and when he looked up to shoot him a warning glare, he couldn't at the puppy look he was giving him. He sighed defeated and kissed him. He wouldn't deny that he loved kissing him too. He loved how his lips felt against his own.

It felt perfect.

"Hey, you go do something useful before you start humping each other in my kitchen. Go get us some good wine. . . Something expensive, Ben can afford it."

Gabi said the last part to him and winked.

"I feel used." Ben pouted and Evan was quick to give him kiss. "I don't mind being used by you, though."

They were out of there when everyone started making barfing sounds. He did inform Gabi, though, about the lecture she'd get from his father. He wasn't happy that she left the house, and that now she was living this far, alone, in a small place.

Outside, Evan insisted to explore the neighborhood to make sure that Gabi was living in a safe place. Ben obliged leaving his car behind, deciding to walk to where she directed them to go. They ignored the occasional glares from people, holding hands and smiling to each other like any other couple. Evan stopped caring a long time ago about what people think. You wouldn't be able to satisfy everyone, so he focused on himself. As long as he was happy and the people he loved were, then life was perfect.

He spotted a dog running with his leash; for sure that he ran away from his owner. He laughed at how the dog was wagging his tail happily, stopping and looking back to spot his owner. Evan stopped walking, watching the dog tauntingly walking back and forward, running in circles, watching his owner. Evan looked back to where the supposed owner should be coming, and he stopped laughing in an instant.

Delirious was panting glaring at the dog. He didn't notice him at first, that until Ben pulled him to his side, piercing his eyes through the man.

"Evan?"

Ben tried to push him behind but Evan didn't let him. He just smiled reassuringly and nodded for him to let go. Reluctantly, Ben did; watching Delirious like a hawk.

"Hi, Delirious."

"Jonathan." He corrected, looking around him paranoid, afraid someone would hear and find out who he was.

Evan felt bad for him at that moment, fighting a frown and smiling a little.

"Yes, Jonathan."

He tucked his hand in his jeans front pocket, reminding him of the day they met. Evan grimaced at that but he didn't let it bother him.

"How are you doing? I mean, you look. . .happy."

Evan glanced back at the fuming, impatient Ben before looking back at him.

"I am." Something flashed in those blue eyes. It was so quick before they dulled out and darkened.

"Good to hear."

"Yeah," Evan glanced back again and pointed at Ben. " I gotta go."

"Wait." Jonathan held his hand making him stop. Evan looked down at their hands with a frown. The warmth that was there when they first met was gone. The other retracted his hand quickly mumbling an apology.

He looked like a lost puppy, but Evan didn't dare to feel sorry for him. Reminding himself that he was different than the person he idolized all these past years. That this was Delirious the human. The real side of him. He just hoped that one day he'd find the right way, and that when he would, he wished that he'd be able to forgive himself for what he did.

"I wanted to say sorry for what I did, Evan. It was wrong and-"

"I did forgive you a long time ago, so don't sweat it."

Jonathan glanced back at Ben before meeting his eyes.

"You and him. . ."

"Yes."

He smiled sadly and nodded.

"I see. . ." He tailed off and looked down at his feet. " Sometimes I wonder if I acted differently how it would've turned out for us. . .Do you?"

"I don't." He noticed how his face fell. " Because there is no use in thinking of something that we won't be able to change. What happened had happened, and this is us living the results of those events. . . Even if I was able to change the past, I wouldn't. What happened was part of the reason I forgave my father and let him hold him. Meeting Ben and learning what true love is. So, no. I don't think about that and you shouldn't too."

"I'm not like you. . .I can't forgive myself for what I did. It cost me. . . a lot." He reached for his hand and pulled him close, disregarding the fact that they were in the street, in broad daylight, with Ben watching them.

"I lost you, Evan. I was confused about what I felt for you and I acted foolishly. . . Just give me a chance."

"Keep your hand to yourself." Ben made him let go. " I don't want to make a scene but you have no idea how much I want to bash your face to the concrete right now." He hissed.

Jonathan ignored him and kept looking at Evan.

"Do you hate me?"

Evan didn't have to think twice as he answered.

"No." He chuckled. " I can never hate you-"

"Then I still have a chance." He looked defiantly at Ben." I'll be there to snatch him away if you break his heart."

"I would never do that." Ben spat and Jonathan smiled dryly.

"I know that. Don't make him cry either, trust me you'll hate it. Just know that your lucky to have him."

Ben's expression softened nodding.

"See ya, Vanoss."

Evan giggled at the fact he knew-obviously Gabi told him or Luke. He watched how his face brightened smiling widely before answering the cries of his whining dog.

He made his way toward the store not looking back. He was smiling, high in triumph. He leaned on Ben and grinned.

He was happy, with a family, friends and a loving boyfriend. He had finally found the things he was looking for in life.

Evan had no regrets.


End file.
